To Be Human
by GaleSynch
Summary: Life as a Sephiroth Remnant. It starts with confusion and terror and doesn't get any better from there either. OC Self-Insert. CloudxOC.
1. Breathing

**XXXXXX**

**1. The One Who Knows All**

**XXXXXX**

All I felt was numbness.

No...not exactly. Numbness was a feeling, and I'm not feeling anything now. So it wasn't numbness was it? No...it was empty, void. I couldn't feel anything and that terrified me but even the feeling of terror was hard for me to grasp.

Why?

And everything was dark. So, so dark and I felt as if I was drowning and—

_Wake up_ an insistent noise echoed in my otherwise empty head. Something small and weak tugged at my hand—or, what I assumed to be my hand. I didn't respond right away, trying to regain my senses which failed by the way and the insistent pull became harsher.

I groaned, and reluctantly cracked my eyes open, expecting to see some blinding light.

But all I saw was nothing but endless clouds of mist obscuring my vision. I blanked out, wondering what in the world—until my memories came crashing down onto me. I expected to feel hurt when something like a surge of wave overwhelm my mind but all I felt was hollowness, emptiness and I just couldn't feel anything.

I pinched myself, blinking away the faint memories of machines beeping and the sterile whiteness. I pinched harder but my skin didn't even bruise, just bounced back to how it was—flawless, like it was before in the sterile hospital.

I'm dead, I knew this but what am I suppose to do in this limbo?

I woke up, just like that voice instructed me to. So...

_You're awake, I see_, a mellifluous and as terrible as a siren's—voice crooned, the notes of her song echoing through the vast and endless space. I tensed, about to demand who the female voice belonged to until right before my eyes, someone appeared. I tried to jerk away but the person held me in her firm grip.

"Who..." my voice died when I looked into those eyes: a vast and cold green, the pupils slitted like a cat's and full of knowledge that bespoke of the lady's true age. I swallowed through my non-existent feeling throat. "...are you?"

The woman-stranger smiled, the coldness in the gaze and voice from before fading. There was love in her eyes, for me, someone who she had never met and I'm sure I did not know her. Yet...there was this part of me responding, humming in return to the love in the woman's eyes for me.

_Silly little daughter of mine_, she giggled, sweeping silver bangs from her cat-like eyes to appraise me more. I stared at this lady, puzzled; she had the oddest of colorings as I'd noted before and her voice far too beautiful to be human (more like a siren from the Greek myths) and her face was timeless, I couldn't tell whether or not she was sixteen or thirty. _You know me, I am your __mother_.

I blinked, wondering what was that cold glint in her eyes when she mentioned the word 'mother' and I also wondered was she nuts? My mother was a pretty redhead with the bluest of eyes. Not this woman with silver hair and green eyes.

The silver-haired woman chuckled with cold and dark amusement. _You resist me far more than most_, she hummed in thought before a thin smile made its way to her thin lips; she leaned forward and her words pushed me down onto my knees. _Silver haired, silver tongued_, she sang childishly. _You shall be the negotiator of the group, the one who tricks and lures others into her trap_.

"Wait," I slurred the protest weakly, holding out my hand to grasp her as her image distorted, the mist swirling a darker shade around me. "You still haven't tell me who you are, your name and—" _who am I_?

_I am Jenova, my dear Katja, I am your mother_.

**XXXXXX**

I...am Katja, daughter of Jenova. And my goal is to crush Gaia, along with my brothers and to restore our mother to her former glory and we won't rest until she is happy and at the top of the world where there's only ashen skies once we're done and—

This is wrong. I'm not Katja. My mother's name is not Jenova and she's—

_You __**are **_Katja, the little voice insisted. _The negotiator of the group, the one who tricks and lure others into her trap. The wise one, the one who plans everything out for us and knows it all_. _The one who remembers, every blow, every word, every detail from the past life_. _The one who endures, every pain and memories of the past_.

Wake up. _Sister_.

**XXXXXX**

I am not who you think I am. To the humans and dwellers on the planet known as Gaia, I might as well be an alien. Someone from another world like my mother. Like Sephiroth and Loz and Yazoo and Kadaj—my brothers. The truth is: I died, once, back on my original planet known as Earth and I have no idea how I got here except that maybe Jenova—sorry, I should be calling her _Mother_—pulled me into this world, this dimension that was supposed to be just a game.

As in not real, so how and why am I here?

Good question, I don't know myself. My first memories of Gaia was the terrible and unforgiving darkness. The only thing guiding me out of the dark and black pool of Mako, Lifestream—that Jenova _kindly_ showed us out to—was the glinting silver of my brothers' hair and once, when I nearly fell into the dark swirling waters, a pale hand guided me and green eyes glanced at me in concern.

I recalled that I was the last one to reach the bank and I had trouble moving my heavy limbs. My brothers had to pull me out before I dissolve back into the Lifestream—the part of the Lifestream that was our mother's. I remember staring blankly up at a long-haired man who smiled once before I lost my consciousness.

The next time, I woke to, I was already fulled dressed and out of the dark pool. But still in sight of it. I glanced blankly at it before turning to where I heard some sheets rustling. The sight that greeted me made me catch my breath. Three boys sat around a campfire: the biggest one of them had the shortest cropped hair, but his eyes were the kindest and when he caught my eye, he smiled. The long-haired boy—who later, I would know to be the one that had pulled me out of the pool before I could drown—nodded my way and mustered the smallest of smile to me before he turned his attention back to what he held in his hands. The youngest looking boy was studying me, smiling and holding out his hand to me, gesturing for me to join his side.

I complied because there was a mad glint in his eyes. Something in his eyes told me that if I ignored his order, he'd make my life miserable. I didn't stumble on my way to them like I expected to.

"Do you know who we are, wise one?" the boy by my side inquired quietly. His voice was a mellifluous as Jenova's. And the boys looked just like her, they had to be related. Back then, it hadn't occurred to me that we might be related too.

"Yes," I found myself answering. My hand twitched and I pointed to each of them as I addressed them: "Kadaj,"—the boy by my side and the big man was—"Loz and finally, Yazoo."

Loz beamed at me. "Sister knows me!" Then he sniffled. "I thought you'd have forgotten for sure."

"Don't cry, Loz," Yazoo said, sneering but the spite in his voice was merely sibling spite. Then he appraised me in reminisce of Jenova. "So what mother said is true, you are the one who sees everything, know everything, endure it all."

"Of course Mother is right, she is never wrong." Kadaj hissed then he turned to me, childish excitement in his eyes and it unnerved me. I didn't try to lean further away because his left arm was already subtly blocking my escape; Yazoo was slowly inching closer as if sensing my urge to flee. "So, sister, tell us—how does our mother look like?"

_Show them_, Jenova's voice murmured in my mind.

I stared at the boys that had to be my older brothers. They didn't show any indication that they heard our mother's voice. Which means I am the only one that can hear her. Which begs the question on how should I show them.

_Let me teach you_. If I could see Jenova, and if she had a corporeal form, I was pretty sure she'd be gently grasping my hands and raising it into the sky. And from my fingertips, I carved a beautiful face and pulled it down—a woman with silver hair and green eyes like ours, flickering over the sea faster than her melodic laughter can follow.

Loz and Kadaj let out childish laughters of wonder and I even saw Yazoo's lips pulling up into a smile. Their mood lifted mine and despite the seeming happy family moment, I still felt out of place because this wasn't my world and the heavy weight in my mind and heart dragged me down.

I knew the boys' fate, along with Jenova's. My brothers would die in two years time and I might be following their footsteps just like in the movie—terrific. I knew only partly of the _Final Fantasy VII Compilation_—I only watched the movie and read through the wikias. But I knew enough to be sure Kadaj, Loz and Yazoo would die. And Jenova...she was depicted as a monster in the game, but I couldn't help but wonder...everyone has their own story to tell...what about her? What drove her mad and what of her urge to destroy Gaia? Revenge? Spite? Or something more?

_Don't. Stop_.

My mother's protest halted my train of thought and I blinked, returning back to reality just in time for the illusion in my hands to fade.

"Again, again," Loz said. "I want to see Mother again."

I did it again, tried to draw different scenes of our Mother.

Only as I curl up by Kadaj's side, thoughts cloudy and hazy and generally in need of sleep, did I realize that somewhere along the line of trying to understand the Calaminity from the Skies, I had replaced calling her _Jenova_ with _Mother_.

And Kadaj, Loz and Yazoo are not the Silver Haired Boys.

But my brothers, my family.

**XXXXXX**

_Give this story a chance, yeah? I felt that Jenova and her children didn't receive much love—too little understanding of their goal. So this came up. Dunno if this will have romance or not, what do you say?_

_P.S: Promise that Katja won't be Mary-Sue. Warn me if she had the makings of one! _


	2. Fearing

**XXXXXX**

**Interlude: Case of Loz**

**XXXXXX**

* * *

In the span of the days where my brothers and I tested out our limitations and powers, I came to love and adore Loz the most. The reasons were because he was the only that didn't treat me like some kind of child incapable of even carrying a piece of paper.

Damn that Kadaj.

So what if I was weaker than them? It was just a physical test and Kadaj was already doubting my abilities to assist mother in the downfall of this world. Every time we work out, I was always the first to tire. Quoting Kadaj, I showed far too much emotion for someone who was suppose to be the wisest—and he's a firm believer that one must masked one's emotion to be the strongest.

Hah. As if he was that great at masking his emotions. I rolled my eyes every time he said that because boy, didn't he just sound and look so (oh, I don't know) passionate? Loz was the only one without a snide comment, Yazoo obviously sense it and he rolled his eyes too, but much more discreetly.

The "sparring sessions" ended up with me being tossed all around by Kadaj when he heard my soft scoff (it sounds like I was scoffing loudly in the silent clearing and his enhanced ears). Assisted by Loz.

And Kadaj always lump Loz with me for my sake. The strongest (physically) and the weakest together to balance the team up. I bit back the "You definitely need Yazoo's brain with your brawns" and replaced it with a very sarcastic "Wonderful."

I was generally cursing Kadaj (why did I want to save him the first place?) and being miserable and wallowing in my self-pity when I was suddenly flying. I realized a moment later that something had thrown me. That thing was Loz. What the heck?

I voiced my thoughts but halfway through, my voice died. I gawked up at the monster and it didn't take me long to realize Loz had thrown me into the air to save me from being eaten by the monster. I swallowed, "Thank you, Loz." I know I gave my gratitude freely unlike my brothers, Kadaj strongly disapproved but I had a feeling he wasn't that unhappy whenever I thank him sometimes. I supposed they weren't used to be being thanked and was awkward (but Loz seemed to be adapting quickly.)

Loz blinked and smiled faintly at me—and I couldn't help but note that his eyes sparkled whenever he or the brothers smiled (not counting their intentions on that smile). "It's alright, little sister. But..." he bit his lip as if he was worried whatever he said next would result a scolding—thanks for instating such fear in Loz, Kadaj. "...are you scared? To fight I mean...you'd always freeze up when you face a monster."

Even _he_—the rather dim–witted one of our group—noticed? Then wouldn't it be like carrying a large white flag and shouting I'm terrified of monsters and battles, please don't kill me? Dear mother, no wonder Kadaj and Yazoo always sent Loz or accompany me themselves. But then wouldn't it be easier for me, dead-weight, to die? Why did he want me alive? In the movie, the three brothers did rather well (except for the dying part) without an advisor by their side. Kadaj did most of the thinking (and see where they ended up?).

I gritted my teeth, forced to face the truth when my brother confronted me—Loz really wasn't like the others who would rather beat around the bush, was he? I really don't know whether I should be annoyed or thankful. I think it's a mixture of both.

Fear and excitement battled within me. Both trying to dominate the other, trying to get me to feel. I was terrified of dying—again, I don't think I can handle it, oh _please_spare_me_—and excitement wasn't totally unexpected. The adrenaline surged through me, curiosity egging me on to try out my new body. The limits and strengths and what was in this magical world full of monsters and magics and the impossible.

I should be grateful, shouldn't I? I was granted the body of an enhanced pre-teen, easy to mold into a weapon suited for battle. I don't have to live through the slow and insecure process of an infant-with-an-adult-mind growing up in a world where _abnormal_ means _monster_.

"Yes," I whispered, knowing that Loz can hear me even though the monster was roaring and snapping its jaws at us. "I'm scared of dying."

But I still have to do my job. Punishment from Jenova and my other brothers lies ahead if I failed to fulfill my purpose. "This monster we're facing is a Midgar Zolom. Legendary and almost impossible to beat—even if we did, it'd just regenerate in the blink of an eye. Travelers and normal people outrun this thing on a chocobo borrowed from the Chocobo Farm. Its impossible to outrun it on foot."

Loz actually smirked at me.

"That's okay," he said cheerily, cracking his knuckles with a loud _crack!_ and it was cool; naturally, I couldn't do that (I could, I think, if I want to break my bones instead of warming them up). "Because we're not normal people, right?"

"No. We certainly are not." Normal existed in our vocabulary but it was never used. The males of our group are the children of an alien and I'm an alien myself. Talk about a couple of freaks and that's the way _I_ like it.

And though my heart had already accepted my fears, still desperately trying to conquer the fear. My mind wasn't ready to catch up. I froze in terror when the Midgar Zolom fixed its slitted eyes not completely unlike our pupils. Fortunately, my body was ready long before I can make any choices or come to terms with anything.

Automatically, my feet carried me away from the place I last stood. My fear-induced mind screamed at me to run but I was stubborn. One of my many flaws is my inability to move on; to walk it off. I tended to sulk endlessly, hold grudges, and live some event over and over again—like this, I knew if I made a tactical retreat (aka, run away), I'd be haunted by this forever (probably for the two short years where I am to die with my brothers). I wouldn't turn my back and walk forward, because invisible, unmoving hands would be holding me back. And they never let go.

Very stupid right? Fear for my life and fear for my pride. I was willing to lose neither. This was very stupid and yet, I found myself saying, "I'll take it on myself."

Loz didn't have a chance to say anything when he was forced to dodge the attack—_Bite,_ the only attack it has in its arsenal of physical attacks. He probably would've punched the thing and defeated it with a few swift blows but since I wanted to defeat it myself... he nodded and flashed me a thumbs-up sign. If I didn't know him any better, I would've thought that was a _it was nice knowing you_ sign.

I checked my materia slot. Knowing that we'll be crossing the Marshes, I'd come prepared, unlike Loz who picked his choice of materias at random—judging by color and how much they glow instead of trying out its helpfulness to us. I had an Enemy Skill materia, HpAbsorb linked to my Deathblow. Elemental and Fire linked in my leather armor.

Hopefully, this will suffice.

The problem wasn't getting close enough to the monster to land an attack. The problem was how should I attack it. Yazoo found comfort in his gunblade, Loz in his fists and Kadaj chose a sword. I was the only one of the group that hadn't choose my weapon of choice. For the one who was supposed to plan strategy, I wasn't planning which weapon would suit me best.

I crossed the distance, opting for throwing a punch. The Zolom staggered backwards, but then reared its head back and performed another Bite. I barely managed to scramble out of the way. From my peripheral vision, I caught sight of Loz' concerned and _the hell was I doing_?

Why am I worrying him when I can help it? Not fully though, my body is ready for battle, my heart is just a maybe, my mind was completely against battle. If I'm going to die anyway, I argued with myself, why not go out with a flair?

"Loz, lend me your Dual Hound!"

My brother snapped out of his trance, unhooked his weapon and threw it my way, knowing he can defend himself fine without it. I hooked it onto my forearm, jumping into the air the same time the Zolom dove downwards for another Bite. I inhaled and dove, the Dual Hound crackled with electricity before I realized what a terrible idea it was. I didn't notice Loz put Lightning materia in there.

Mud was a form of liquid and wasn't liquid conductors for electricity?

Oops. I blanched; too late, I don't have the time to pull back. My long hair rose, my skin tingled just as the swamp rose, channeling electricity as far as it could reach—and I hope Loz would be caught up in it too, that _damnable_ idiot. The main source, the most concentrated place was me and the Zolom. The scent of something burning wafted up my nose. Cursing, I realized my skin was burning. Scorched as the Zolom convulsed, gave a final howl and rose, throwing me off its back and into the swamp.

I spat out the dirty substance. Another thing I hated; getting myself full of mud and dirt. That thing was _so_ dead. I knew I have enhanced strength...can I rip the thing's head off? And with that cheerful thought, I plunged into battle once more, choosing to wrestle it with bare strength instead.

Even if I had to run and didn't defeat the monster, at least I learned one thing.

"I'm so getting a sword or katana like Kadaj's," I moaned as I slumped against the tree. I stared at my bruised knuckles and the overused Dual Hound. Speaking of the rather useless weapon (to me), I unlatched it and threw it at Loz who caught it easily. Unlike me, he was only slightly winded. Damn boys' stamina.

The Zolom I defeated (_hurrah!)_ wasn't the only monster we encounter. Loz, bored by standing and just watching me fight, had gone and provoked other monsters in the Marshes. Which ended in a mob battle, Loz and I were now completely muddy. Instead of pale hair and skin, we now sported brown hair and skin. I bit my tongue to refrain from snapping at him, knowing that he was just a child trapped in the body of an adult. It still didn't dwindle down the irritation in me to nothingness though.

Either Loz didn't notice or he purposefully chose to ignore it.

Ugh. I really want a bath now.

**XXXXXX**

"Loz," came the irritated voice of our dear Yazoo. "Don't cry."

The oldest brother didn't stop crying instantly but he snapped back a "I didn't!" before he curled up on his side and sniffled as silently as possible. Which, to us enhanced people, was like some infant sobbing right in front of us.

I stared up at the rocky ceiling—sparkling with frozen and embedded with materias—that was our temporary home, trying to ignore Loz' tears and yet wondering what had intimidated him and made him cry. Not much intimidated our big brother but then again, he cries just as much. My left eye twitched, irritated as the seconds ticked by and my brother's sniffles seemed to grow even louder. On my left, Kadaj shifted, facing me and I caught a glimpse of his leather clad fingers clenching. He was probably a few seconds away from punching our brother into oblivion. And he wouldn't lose sleep over it.

"Shut up, Loz," he snarled, stormy eyes flashing a turbulent. "Don't be a nuisance!"

_That_ was mean.

Yazoo, on my right didn't move, still facing the ceiling wall. But he always slept with his gunblade by his side and he was probably waiting for another sniffle to shoot Loz's brains out. We were tired from today's training and we couldn't find anything edible in this stupid forest, we couldn't even find a clean water source to drink from or bathe and Loz crying wasn't helping any of us (unless he cried enough to form a pond to wash our muddy, dirty and sweaty forms).

But still...I couldn't let them kill one another could I? Sighing, I slipped out of the blanket and approached Loz. I tapped his shoulder but he didn't acknowledge me, he just let out a sob and I knew that my other brothers were reaching their limit.

I grabbed him by the shoulder and hauled him to his feet with force surprising even me. Kadaj raised his silvery head and nodded _get out_ towards the entrance of the cave before slumping back onto his comfy pillow. I would've done it without him telling me. I pulled Loz out of the cave and as he rubbed his tears and sniffled, we trudged into the forest in silence.

I estimated that we'd been walking for about five minutes before the silence (through the sniffles) was broken. I slouched against a tree while Loz stood in the clearing as I spoke. "Why cry?"

"Bad dream...visions won't go away..."

"Nightmare," I automatically supplied the proper word, having gotten used to the brothers' lacking vocabulary and trying to patch them up. "What is it about? And don't give me that _I don't want to tell you_ look, Loz. Yes, I know it's hard but can't you try?"

"We're dead."

"Uh..." I frowned and was about to say something concerning _that _when Loz interrupted me by adding, "We're going to die."

"You_ knew_?"

Only when Loz's head snapped up to look me in the eye, shocked and terrified, that I realized I'd said the wrong thing. I phrased my sentence in a way that told him I knew we _are_ going to die. "Ah..." I swallowed, trying to find a way to reassure him we won't be dead (which we will be). I couldn't come up with anything and when Loz started bawling for real, I buried my face in my hands.

I was ready to bet my right hand that Jenova had sent Loz that dream. Why though... "Was it Mother who sent you the dream?"

Loz bobbed his head up and down, sniffling and staring at me with wide eyes. "She...she said that I should tell you. You'd know what to do...to prevent our deaths."

I really don't know how to prevent death—I died in my first life without knowing it. But seeing the hope shining in Loz's eyes and realizing that with my existence, not many things are set in stone, I couldn't say it. I tried to imagine what Loz must have dreamt about and the vivid images that sprang into my mind—Kadaj, body nearly severed by Cloud's sword, bitter and broken. Yazoo and Loz, bodies blasted into bits by the explosiom in a last act of vengeance and it failed terribly.

I inhaled sharply; _mask_mask_mask_your_emotions_. This was supposed to be just a game where I'd be able to observe an interesting world. Not fighting for my life and worse, as the enemy of the world I'm residing in. I wanted to severe my ties with them but I couldn't. Jenova had a far too firm grasp of my mind like how a mother would hold her child's hand to prevent them from running into the middle of the road. And there's also the brothers to think about.

I was scared that I'd lose my brothers (who in their own twisted ways, cared about me and one another). Scared that I'd lose my life (again and this time, much sooner than my last). Scared that I'd lose everything in the end (what of me when I lost what made me _me_?). And worse, I was _terrified_feared_hated_ to be the one left surviving (the one left behind always hurt the most). I certainly didn't want to rot in the ShinRa labs and—

"Sister?"

I snapped out of my reverie and stared at Loz who had approached me while I was deep in thought. Looking at his vulnerable face, crumpled and barren of hope but still dearly wishing to play and live and find Mother—I couldn't help it, the words drew itself out of my throat: "I won't let any of you die."

"Really?"

"Don't you trust me?" I stroke his brow, trying to relieve his tension. Instinctively, he leaned into my touch.

He nodded, his eyelids drooping. "Is this what a mother's touch feel like? Mother always sings to me...can you...?"

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: :::::::::

_Long before we each said goodbye _

_All our fights would make hate appear _

_I don't know why those are the days _

_I hold dear_

_You taught me how to be so fearless;_

_Always pushing me further each day _

_Saying, "You can overcome it all _

_and find happiness along the way if you try"_

_I'll go on alone with the pain _

_And I swear that I won't complain _

_'Cause I'll have the dream you gave me_

_To keep me strong just how I should be _

_You were once what made me happy_

_What I once had called my everything_

_But it faded and I could see _

_Being with you all was just a dream _

_I once thought we always would be _

_And never cross the finish line _

_But I knew that was just a wish_

_Of mine _

_I don't regret being born any longer_

_I have learned to cherish life _

_'Cause you gave me all you had and more _

_Though we now move on _

_Without Strife_

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: :::::::::

Her half-lidded eyes slipped shut, a smile curving onto her perfect features. Her abnormal daughter has finally given in—to save her brothers but it was okay even though she wasn't on the girl's priority list, she will wait and bide time to be the first in her daughter's heart. _Soon_, she murmured as she flitted through the girl's memories like an open book, studying the battle scenes and the movie of this world of Gaia. _Everything will change, foreknowledge is in my grasp_.

And she wouldn't lose her children. Not even Strife.

And her children wouldn't lose her.

**XXXXXX**

* * *

**A/N: **I'd planned for it to be longer but I couldn't find anymore to add in this chap without spoiling things. Any ideas on to how the siblings should bond?

The song's the english dub of "My Most Precious Treasure"—and permission is already granted by the owner to use those lyrics.


	3. Drowning

**XXXXXX**

**Interlude: Case of Yazoo**

**XXXXXX**

I had mixed feelings for Yazoo.

Unlike Loz who defended me and placed his never-ending trust in me, unlike Kadaj who seemed complex on first glance (but was easy to read like a book and had compassion wrapped in insanity), Yazoo questioned me on almost everything. So far, I had managed to escaped unscathered from our physchological ping-pong war on every and any topic that Yazoo found worth in questioning me, challenging me.

Today's topic was...

I let out a small shriek as I jumped back, disgusted as I felt my goose bumps rise. The... the thing in Yazoo's hand—blargh!—hissed at me and I hissed back. Then I made a disgusted noise as I realized that I'd made the exact kitten-ish sound the beast in Yazoo's hand made.

"What is that thing doing here?" I snapped, taking a few steps back from my older brother. "Throw it away!"

I stared in horror at the black fur adorning its body, the slitted aqua eyes and white fur at the end of its tail.

"Why?" Yazoo purred, tickling the back of _the kitten's_ ears, eliciting a purr not unlike Yazoo's and it freaked me out. "Are you scared of this kitten?"

There was that challenging note in it. I was torn between taking up his damned challenge or giving up. The latter choice would ruin my perfect record of winning against the silver haired man and I hate Yazoo for taking this thing to me! The kitten purred and looked up at me with its slitted eyes and did I mention I hate Yazoo?

I scowled at the animal. Back on Earth, I was allergic to cats and kittens and anything related to them. My family back on Earth—faces and forms I could barely remember now—had loved them to death. I was the only that was spared from the cat-lover gene. Many reasons: those cats acted like queens and kings of the world, some (in my house) peed and pooped in my room, one had scratched me when I was a toddler, and they eat rats!

I shuddered, unable to look at the kitten.

"I have more you know," Yazoo purred and I nearly fainted. "Do you want to look after this one for me while I retrieve the others?"

Where was Kadaj and Loz when you needed them? Especially, Kadaj. Only he can reign in Yazoo and when I needed him to do so, he wasn't there. Very helpful.

I stomped my foot stubbornly. "What is the meaning of this?"

_Get back here quick, Kadaj!_

My older brother blinked innocently—or, maybe not so innocently because there was that irritating gleam in his eyes. "Whatever do you mean?"

"Don't give me that crap," I paused as I consider what else I can use in my arsenal of words to get the kitten (and more of its brethren) out of here. "Kadaj won't like it." I rarely played that "boss won't like it" card but I was desperate.

"He likes what you like." Yazoo said cryptically and unhelpfully. And with that, the bastard threw the kitten into my arms and glide purposefully away.

Was that bastard implying Kadaj liked this monster? Something bit my finger and though I felt no pain but that irritation burned through my veins like bitter poison. I glowered down at the kitten which mewled innocently—why is everyone taking the innocent shit today? I held my arm at length, shaking it to get the kitten off but it hung on and actually managed to swing itself with grace and balancing itself on my arm.

My goose bumps still hadn't subsided and I'm afraid I might convulse on the ground if I was in contact in the thing. The thing mewled louder and it deafened my ears.

"What." I snapped. "Do. you. want."

The kitten looked up at me pleadingly and while this might affect a lot of people, I couldn't give a damn. And I was immune to it; this kitten has nothing against Loz's beaten puppy look. I stared at it for a moment, wondering why it was trying to bite my leather-clad arm—

It was hungry. "Oh, so that's why," I mused, chuckling darkly and I laughed internally when the kitten shied away. Out of my siblings, I knew I had the crazy-Sephiroth-laughter down perfectly. Even animals are not immune, I see. "Well, I'm so sorry but there's nothing edible here. I myself haven't eaten in four days, you think you can get some food before I do? Go eat the grass." I threw it onto the patch of dry grass, retreating back into the cave, grumbling and cursing Yazoo.

I was tired. My body needed sleep to catch up with the lack of nutrients. But the kitten started bawling in its own kitten way and my enhanced ears couldn't take it. I groaned, rolling over, grabbing Yazoo's pillow and smothering my ears with it—_shut up, please just shut up_.

The thing didn't shut up. I was contemplating hurling Yazoo's pillow at it when it suddenly jumped on me. I swallowed my shriek and batted it away.

I snarled. "You want food? Fine!"

That statement landed me in the hair salon which was situated in Kalm. Silver hair was far too attention drawing—especially after what Sephiroth had done and I really don't want Cloud Strife and his little gang of ragtag heroes on my tail; I was too smart for that.

Dying one's hair was practically begging to damage the hair. And my hair in this world and before had been silky; I really don't want to lose that comforting smoothness. Why was I doing this, sacrificing my beautiful silver hair, for the damned kitten anyway?

Right, Yazoo.

"You had better be grateful," I grumbled at the kitten who mewled dutifully by my heels. It nuzzled my jeans and my scowl only deepen. Flicking my now mousy brown hair back, I weaved through the small crowd that had started to gather and come out of hiding once the threat of Meteor was gone. My lip curled at the thought of Sephiroth's humiliating defeat at the hands of our black sheep "brother".

And the whispers and murmurs that followed really grated my nerves. How dare they talk bad about Mother and Big Brother? I glowered at the pair of human _girls_—unfit to even walk this planet much less breathe—who passed by me, bumping into me and leaving with a snap _are you blind?_ and not an apology, continuing to insult Jenova and Sephiroth. The part of me which carried Sephiroth—like my brothers, as creepy as it appeared to be—hissed, begging for retribution because _no one can tarnish the Jenova name_.

The kitten hissed at them. It had been kicked by one of the girls and was not pleased at all. I shared the thing's opinion. "We have a detour to make, Thing." I muttered, pulling my cap forward as I turned and followed the pair. I spotted my chance when they were passing the alleyway. I reached forward and shoved them into it.

"Hey!" the blonde girl snapped. "What the hell, you freak!"

The girl's voice was high and generally a nuisance. The loudness of the population that had grown in Kalm ever since Meteor was summoned, covered the girl's voice. I glared, tilting my cap high enough for her to see my eyes and the silver tints of my fringe.

The brunette that had meant to say something lost her voice. The girls squeaked in fear, huddling together and backing away.

"Stay away!" the blonde squeaked—so much like an insignificant rat—through her haze of fear. "You Sephiroth freak!"

Freak? Sephiroth? Me?

I chuckled darkly. "Now only you know? Not when you ran into me earlier?"

The brunette which I deduced by her next sentence was smarter of the two. "We're sorry, we didn't mean too."

"Apologize to my cat." I nudged the kitten with my foot, pushing it forward. The kitten reacted like I expected it to—hissing and baring its small fangs at the two girls. I nearly laughed out loud at their reaction; no doubt they thought my cat was some sort of mutation that could turn into a beast in a moment notice.

They did as told and looked at me pleadingly _don't kill us_ the message was clear.

But my message rang louder and clearer: no one insults my family and live to tell the tale. I thrust my hand through the blonde's chest. "This is my tribute to Mother."

The brunette screamed as she saw her friend impaled on my hand. She tried to push past me, but I lashed out my leg. My leg connected with the girl's ribcage and she crumpled to the ground, too much in pain to scream as I shatter her bones. Now...how should I kill her? Letting her live was out of the option. I lifted my leg and a quick kick to the neck did the trick. I removed the blonde from the hand, kneeling and ripping off a piece of her shirt and wiping my hand of blood.

The kitten mewled distastefully. Still hungry, I see. I ripped a shred of the girl's meat, revealing white bones, and placed it in front of the kitten. The kitten sniffed it a few times before turning its head almost arrogantly; no then.

"Be lucky you're in Yazoo's good grace," I grumbled as I stood and exited the alleyway. "Else you would have met the same fate as those _humans_."

As I walked, I glanced at my hand, the one that had impaled the girl. I swallowed back the bitter taste that always surfaced after I made a kill. Almost a year into this business and I still couldn't get over it. I was at least improving, under my brothers' influence—they didn't even blink an eye when they kill someone. I shouldn't either. Kadaj strongly discouraged this and I know he'd bring me with him even more often to kill somebody for leisure to get rid of this stupid phobia (in his eyes anyway). And I really want to fit in with them so I suppressed the bile that rose every time.

I stuffed my dirty hands into my pocket, making a mental note to find a sink to wash my hands. I stopped, glancing around to see a pet shop when something zoomed past me, the breeze lifting my hair. Did a stroller just...went past me? And there was something flailing in it...was that a—

"Oh no, my baby! Someone stop it!"

"A baby," I finished my thought out loud. I supposed the right thing to do in Kadaj's eyes was to walk away—one less creature to breath in this world lessens our workload when we would be getting rid of them in the future. But at the same time, I could get the woman to repay me with free food for me and my brothers and the cat etc. My stomach growled in agreement.

I stopped the woman, handed her my kitten. "Take care of it." And ran downhill after the stroller. No doubt I was able to catch it, with my enhanced speed and all. Instead of a squirming and shrieking baby, the infant was gurgling, apparently not knowing that had I been later, he'd be sailing to the Promised Land.

I waited, tapping my foot as the infant's mother approached us. Another human interaction, I told myself. Get ready.

"Oh, thank you," the woman sobbed in relief, cradling her infant as if it was the most precious thing in the world.

I stared at the infant and felt a flicker of envy. I'd never felt the embrace of a mother in this world and I could barely remember how my mother from my past life had hugged me. Which reminded me what we're fighting for: Mother's smile, her laughter and embrace and most importantly, her _love_. The pull. the yearning that suddenly assaulted me was so powerful, no wonder Kadaj couldn't resist. I coughed awkwardly and the woman's attention turned to me.

She smiled at me, her eyes still glistening with tears of relief and joy. She looked relatively young, must be a new mother then. "Thank you, miss..." she trailed off, looking at me expectantly.

"Katja." No harm in telling her. Who was she anyway?

"Miss Katja," she clasped my hand firmly in hers and I could feel the warmth and life flowing from her. It sickened me to be so close to someone so close to the Planet—she to be some distant descendant of Ancients. "How may I repay you for saving my newborn son?"

My stomach answered for me. _I'm hungry_ was the silent message and the woman laughed. Amused but not mocking. "My name is Rayleigh, former researcher of ShinRa but you don't need to know that." She added the last part hesitantly.

Scientist from ShinRa? Even my luck couldn't be _that_ bad. Consciously, I tugged the cap down to hide my bright eyes. Note to self: buy contact lenses.

"My husband owns a restaurant. And I'm sure he wouldn't mind treating our son's savior, come." Prof. Rayleigh placed her son in stroller and led me to wherever her husband's shop was.

My body was tensed; Sephiroth's memories and instincts and influence screaming at me to not trust a scientist—former or no. I didn't relax even as we stepped into a quaint little restaurant with a few people. The woman I was following kissed a man behind the counter before coming back towards me and my kitten.

Rayleigh ushered me into a seat, ordering a waiter to get me today's special. The woman didn't forget to get milk for my cat. Luckily she remembered the luck thing because the moment the plate of food was in front of me, I totally forgot everything else.

I dug in and was not at all ashamed to order for more. Why not take advantage of the situation?

I burped ungraciously, slumping back into my chair. I smirked, rubbing my satisfied tummy, at the mount of plates.

Rayleigh and her husband was gawking at me as if I was a monster. In a way, I was but I coughed to get their attention. The wife snapped out of her shock first, murmuring, "You must be hungry. Didn't your parents feed you?"

Which reminded me of my still starving brothers. What kind of sister am I? To forget brother dears. "Uh... my brothers and I came from Midgar, no parents and we haven't eaten in days—"

"Does your brothers have as much appetite as you do?" the husband asked, amused.

"More." I shuffled my foot nervously. "Can you make something? I'll pay—" _the girls I killed today had quite the money_.

"No, no," the man laughed. "The shop's closed for the day and we have many leftover ingredients. More than enough to spare for your brothers. I'll go and cook. Stay and keep my wife company, eh?"

"So, what brings your from Midgar?" Rayleigh asked once her husband left hearing range—well, her hearing range anyway, I was pretty sure I can hear her from the kitchen.

"Job." Which wasn't a complete lie. I just didn't specify what sort of job. World domination would make her freak and I might find myself in a lab.

"Found any?"

"Yes. Well, my brother did anyway. We'll be moving soon."

"To where?"

Where? Well... "Gold Saucer." We will be heading there next. My brothers _will_ taking me in payment for their meal.

"What kind of job?" Is she some sort of justice enforcer? Why does she care so damned much?

I bit back a sigh of irritation. "Fighting—we are entertainers in the arena. Battling and bringing forth blood bath."

Rayleigh frowned. "But you're just a child..."

"I'm uh...the medic of the group," I interjected her before she can go on a tirade. I hope the food's ready. "My older brothers will be the one fighting."

"How old?"

"Late teens, early twenties." Nevermind the fact Kadaj's the same age as me—and with the way he sometimes throw a tantrum, a baby (and chronologically, he is one).

Rayleigh must have had a speech prepared to launch at me but luckily, her husband came just at the right time, plopping down a plastic bag of food. I jumped to my feet, already itching to get rid of this human.

"Thanks!" I said, trying to sound upbeat and cheerful. "I'll be going now." Scooping up the nuisance of a kitten, I shot out of the restaurant, knowing that I was impolite but not giving a damn.

Once we exited Kalm, I dropped the kitten. And as cats do, the kitten landed on its feet. Was it wrong for me to hope it'd somehow break its neck in the fall? I wrinkled my nose in distaste, turning on my heel and walking in the direction of our camp.

I arrived to a lot of groaning and complaining. Loz was the first to greet me but his grin dropped when he saw me. He slumped back onto the rocky ground as we gathered to stare.

"What's wrong?" I asked bluntly.

"He's hungry—we all are," Kadaj gave a soft sigh. "We smelled some greasy things, thought some travelers were cooking food and we thought we could kill them for food. But then you came, carrying the scent—" He stopped, his eyes narrowed; his lips thinned in displeasure and I resisted the urge to smile at how close he was to pouting. "Did you eat without us?"

Yazoo was silent but I could tell he was a tick irritated. Loz wailed. "You didn't save some for me?"

"For us." Kadaj snapped, crossing his arms.

"I'm not that selfish," I sneered, thrusting out my hand carrying the food. "I won't forget to share whatever I have with my dear brothers."

Instantly, their attitude changed. Pleasant all around; talk about two-faced.

Loz nearly ripped my arm off to get his share of food. The other two weren't better but at least they did it with grace. Yazoo smirked softly when he came to take his share of food from me. "Did the kitten do any good?"

Kadaj heard that but he didn't say anything, frowning. I eyed them warily. "No," I replied eventually. "Why?"

"You don't like our gift?" Loz cried. His outburst startled me but at least he got the point across.

Kadaj was scowling. "Why didn't you say you didn't like the kitten?"

"I—" I was very confused. What gift? The kitten was a gift from my brothers? Why would they when they hated cats as much as I do? (Though I might make an exception for Yazoo's sake and this kitten wasn't all that bad...)

"Hmph," Kadaj turned his slitted gaze at the kitten. "Nevermind sister." He stood with grace that could have put many dancers to shame and strode to the kitten. He picked it up, eyeing it distastefully before flinging it across our heads. Then he turned away from me, and returned to his food.

Yazoo stared at his younger siblings as if we'd grown second heads.

Did Kadaj not know that it was Yazoo's?

"Wha..." My voice died as the kitten disappeared from my sight. If I wasn't so stunned, I would've laughed at how comical the kitten looked in the night sky (I traveled quite far to get food after all, strange, I didn't notice the time). "Why did you do that for?" I finally managed to choke out. I didn't wait for Kadaj to answer as I threw myself into the forest, following the direction where I'd seen the kitten fallen to.

I snapped and shoved branches out of my sight, preventing anything from hindering my sight. I strained my ears, feeling Mako rushed towards the blood there, trying to lend me enhanced hearing. I vaguely heard human footsteps behind me but I didn't pay any mind, choosing to listen to the faint and almost inaudible _mew_.

I stumbled out into the clearing.

The dark pond which was connected to the Lifestream was damn familiar. The one where my brothers and I had been born in was the place where my kitten would die in. Talk about ironic.

Some part of me wondered why I was doing this for the damn kitten, getting wet and putting myself in danger—getting close to the Lifestream...ugh. Then I recalled Yazoo's parted lips. Which was his equivalent of jaw dropping, his shocked expression. He somehow liked this damnable kitten but he was scared of defying Kadaj so he didn't ran to save it didn't he.

The icy cold water ate at me, seeped into my skin despite the leather boots. I gritted my teeth and descended further, hugging myself. My eyes concentrated on my goal: the drowning kitten. I grasped it just as my feet touched nothing but water. The ground under the water giving away into deeper currents and suddenly I went under.

Let me tell you, unless you know how to swim or enjoy drinking dirty lake water, you would be wise to stay away. I inhaled a mouthful before snapping my mouth close. Mako enhancement allowed me to see underwater but I couldn't keep the water from seeping into my eyes and the struggling kitten wasn't doing any good.

I realized one thing. I didn't know how to swim, damn. I thought the pond hadn't been deep which was why I'd even go in.

I coughed. _Mother..._?

I just had time to think how stupid it was for a Sephiroth Remant to die by drowning, because I couldn't swim and the muffled voice up there was one of my brothers before my vision tunneled.

Everything went black.

**XXXXXX**


	4. Dissolving

**XXXXXX**

**Interlude: Case of Kdaj**

**XXXXXX**

* * *

I was sure I was dead the moment my vision tunneled. The last thing I'd ever expected to do was wake up and continue walking this planet. But that was what I did. I surfaced, somehow able to float again, and where was the damn cat I drowned for?

A soft mew made me growl. Snarling, spluttering water and generally being miserable, I trudged out of the blackened pond and was merely a stone's throw away when I heard a scream. I paused and the cat stopped whining at me.

I turned, blinking jade eyes, straining my ears to hear better.

And there was that scream again: human but terror and panic laced it.

"Time to go play hero," I murmured to the cat, sarcasm dripping from my tone just as I was dripping wet. I stayed close to the bank, placing a hand on the ground and navigating my way to where I heard the scream came from.

Luckily for the screamer, I can reach her without having to dive in deeper and swim (which I had no ability to). I extended my hand and she grasped for my hand desperately, nearly pulling me down with her but I held on. Unfortunately, I was wearing leather and her hands were covered by leather gloves too. With little friction, we couldn't hold on to one another.

She slipped and I blanched. But her other hand reach up and something hard was placed in my hand. My fingers closed around it with ease and a sense of familiarity; I pulled and together, we scrambled out of the pond.

The girl I'd saved was still panting for breath but I'd recovered, albeit slightly winded. I frowned down at the thing I'd used to pull her out. It was a katana by the looks of it and was quite long—half of it was still submerged in water. Lazily, I pulled the katana out, silently wondering was this her weapon and why didn't I remember this part of the _Final Fantasy VII Compilation_. Maybe it was in the novellas? I never read those.

My heart fluttered. Which means that I don't know this part of the story. Shit. What if I screwed up somehow and my brothers end up...dead sooner? My terror died away to be replaced by shock. What was Sephiroth's legendary sword Masamune doing in my lap? The katana the girl had been holding onto was Masamune? I held it up and inspected it closer. From what I can see, it's genuine but the question remains: how did it get here?

"Is it yours?"

The question startled me but I tried my best to conceal it. I scrutinized her as I thought about it. Well, I was a part of Sephiroth, his remnant so in a sense, yes, it did belong to me. I nodded curtly, warily assessing her still.

"What about it?" My response—which she was clearly waiting for—was soft but it still carried through the winds and to her.

She shifted nervously, a hesitant smile making its way to her face. "Nah, it's nothing." She squinted as she shifted closer to me, started to say something, but then she cried out in pain and crumpled to the ground.

I tilted my head to the side, lips curling up in disdain at the sight of blood—dry now, the brown of her blood colored the rocks. She needed a doctor from the looks of it but where do we get one? I didn't know where we were.

A loud meow drew my attention away from the serious wound and to the cat.

"What." I frowned at the cat, squinting. "Can you find a doctor? Or any lifeforms?"

It meowed uselessly. I was about to chuck it into the pond when it started to claw and bite at the girl's hair. She cried out at the added pain.

"Oy, thing, stop that." The cat did but it came to bit me. I scowled at it before realizing that it was trying to lead us somewhere...? Wait—footsteps, I heard them. I tensed, my hand on Masamune's hilt even though I had no idea to wield such a long sword—I was pretty sure I'd accidentally stab myself first.

"Is someone there?" a masculine voice that held a nasally tone in it called out. It didn't sound malice but seemed kind and concerned. Reminds me of Rayleigh.

"Yes," I called back. "There's an injured person here, mister!"

And like a good person, the man who revealed himself to be a doctor and goes by Dr. Eugene, he rushed over to help. Doing the mandatory pulse check and review, he had me help him carry her back to his clinic. I didn't mind so much, at least I learned of my location.

I was in Under Junon—wherever that is—and was quite far from the place my brothers and I had set up camp. I growled under my breath, cursing a colorful slew of words. The doctor politely ignored me and left me outside in the waiting area as he tended to the girl, Kyrie's wound. My fist lashed out, about to connect with the concrete wall when someone catch it.

I blinked, stunned, no human would be able to wield such strength against mine—

I noticed the leather clad hand next. I turned and I'd never been so happy to see _Kadaj_—of all my brothers—in my life. I was so lost, so confused and I'd never wanted a guide more than now, I nearly threw my arms around him. I could tell he knew I was delighted to see him by the way his lips curled into a smirk. It was the closest thing on him to be a smile.

Sweet but sad. To know he could do it but he didn't and sad to know that he'd never smile to us. "Missed me, sister?" Kadaj drawled, his grip on my arm loosening, but his smirk not leaving.

"Very much so." I remarked casually. He blinked, his eyes widening in surprise and I felt mine did too. I myself couldn't detect any malice, sibling spite or sarcasm when I said.

He squinted at me. "Really?" Now _his _voice was laced with sarcasm. What a brat.

I rolled my eyes. "Is it that hard to believe I missed all of you?"

"Why would you?"

"Why would you miss Mother?" He was silent, contemplating. I smirked softly. "Same logic, brother."

His finger tapped my wrist-bone, looking as if he might want so snap it. I eyed him warily as he spoke, "Is this what Loz had meant by 'love'?" he raised his pale eyes to mine. "Sister, is this what _love_ is? The craving to find Mother and you?"

_More like obsession to be complete with finding Mother_. I don't know about what I have to do with this though. "Yes. Maybe. I am not you. I wouldn't know how you feel."

"Isn't love universal?" It was weird hearing _that_ come out of his mouth.

"It depends on how one interprets their love. Or the way they show it." He frowned, examining my leather clad hand for the lack of anything to do. "Anyway, what about Loz bringing this subject up?"

"After I threw the cat, he went to find you. He came back bawling, claiming not to have found you and had already started mourning." The way Kadaj described it, it actually sounded ludicrous enough for me to giggle and Kadaj seemed to think so too. "Yazoo and I went to find you next. Brother dear dived into the pool while I searched around for any hiding spots. We found no trace of you but the Velvet Nightmare you carry in the depths. We went back but Loz was gone too. We didn't do anything but lay there and...feeling..." he blinked rapidly. "...sad...is it that emotion?"

"The feeling like someone had twisted a sword in your chest after something happened? Or a phantom pain in the chest when something bad happened?"

"Yes."

"Then it is that emotion."

"I don't like it." He said it softly, sadly. "It's always like that when I think of Mother."

"We'll find her." _We'll never find her_.

Kadaj's grip on my wrist tightened as he cleared his throat. "Right. Anyways, he came back, more cheerful. He was actually grinning. He stunk, smelling of women's perfume." He paused, leaning forward to sniff me. "No, you don't smell like the girls. Good."

"Of course not," I felt offended, I'd never liked perfumes. "Why would I need one?"

"Right. He smelled like he'd come back from where supermodels go to die." He made a face and I laughed. "Said he got some soothing therapy and started telling us that you're okay."

"How can he be sure?"

"Quoting one of the girls, '_have faith in the one you love_', blargh. Sick of his rants of girls, I left to find more information about you and Mother. I sensed Mother presence in the pond, the last place you were and I assumed she took you away for something." There was that edge of jealousy and the silent _why would Mother talk to you and not me_ question hanging in the air. His grip on my arm tightened painfully as the slightest hint of insanity clouded his eyes.

I figured I should say something before he snapped my arm off out of jealousy. Anything to distract him. "Why are you here?" I blurted out after I fumbled out the words.

The cloud in his eyes cleared somewhat. "For information. On Mother."

"Any clue?"

"Maybe." He released my wrist and turned to walk away, only to bump into something small and insignificant. His eyes burned with loathing the moment his eyes landed on the cat I'd drifted away to save. "Is it me or did the cat really get bigger overnight? What have you been feeding it?"

I stared at the cat, now that Kadaj had mentioned it: the cat did seem a lot bigger than the last time. I shrugged. "Must be one of the affects of taking a bath in the Lifestream."

"Mind if I killed it?"

"Why...you're asking for permission now?"

Kadaj snorted. "Hardly. I just don't want you to drown for the cat again."

"I mind. A lot." I admitted. "Anyway, your mission...?"

"Watch and learn, sister," he pointed his finger at a point between my eyes and smirking, entering the room where Kyrie is. I tilted my head to the side curiously awaiting what he was planning on doing. I edged closer to the door and peeked in, watching, surprised that Kyrie greeted Kadaj with such enthusiasm.

It wasn't until I heard her call him by another name that I realized she was seeing an entirely different person. I didn't know he can make illusions, fooling others into seeing him for someone else. I had to admit that it was a cool trick. I wonder can the others do so too. I wished I could too.

"Miss...?"

I turned to face the masculine voice and I heard his breath catch. I recognized the face even though I'd never seen it before. "Tseng?"

The moment his name slipped from my tongue, I was already cursing myself. I'd just admitted that I know him even though we never met. Damn it. But his next sentence threw me for a loop.

"Aerith?" Some spluttering before he regained his wits. "No, you're not her. She's dead." The moment he muttered this to himself, he seemed to have slipped into the persona of another. The change unnerved me and this meant that he had now entered Turk-mode. He was definitely going to interrogate me by asking me how I knew his name; damn. I slipped into the room where Kadaj was talking to the doctor and the girl.

His eyes narrowed when he saw me but it softened with realization the moment Tseng stepped in. Kadaj smiled politely at Tseng, extending a hand to the man. "Hello," he said, all polite and sweet—I'd certainly never seen him interact with his siblings this way, how nice it would be. "My name is Kadaj. I see you've met my sister Katja."

Why the heck are you telling your enemy your name?

I scowled at him but he ignored me as Tseng shook his hand. Instantly he collapsed. I blinked owlishly at the Turk then at the resounding _thump!_ turned to see Kyrie and Dr. Eugene's fallen forms. I didn't care much about the civilians but Tseng was quite an important character in the story...

"Did you kill them?"

"No," Kadaj said, frowning down at their forms; his frown deepened when he saw the cat nuzzling my heels. "Just having them take a nap. They have information on Mother, can't let them die just yet." He adjusted Souba strapped on his back before he breezed past me, grabbing my hand in the process and tugging me out of the place.

"Where to?"

"Where do you think?" He answered vaguely and I have no choice but to follow.

"To Nilbehiem." I said, the knowledge surfacing within me. "Mother's...there's information on her there."

"You think so too?"

"The Turks are heading there." I jerked my head towards the helicopter, bearing Shin-Ra's logo, in the air, slowly descending. We shared a glance and instantly bolted. Kadaj led me to a army camouflaged motorcycle, easily straddling it. I did the same, though with less grace but neither of us cared much about it and we're off. Kadaj was pissed that I'd delayed him by helping the cat onboard his beloved bike.

We followed the Turks and a group of seemingly normal civilians. Until Kadaj and I overheard the fact that one of them was the former president of Shin-Ra's illegal son. We stopped at Icicle Inn, a place I'd developed an instant hate to. I couldn't stand the cold and neither could Kadaj but for Mother's sake, he ploughed on after ordering me to kidnap Kyrie.

It was easy to trick her once she realized I was the one to save her at the pond.

She could fight but her guard was down the moment she spotted me—a girl barely into her teens with a black and harmless cat. Which cost her as I easily wrestle her down and pinned her against me, a dagger I'd scraped from the ground at her throat.

"Shut up," I hissed into her ear, tightening my grip to the point of painful. "Watch and stay still or I'll hurt you."

She stilled but there was that annoying gleam of defiance that told me to expect resistance. We watched as Kadaj's form flickered as he assumed the form of someone else. I don't know who it was but Kyrie murmured in disbelief a name _Fabio_. Never heard of it before but it sounded vaguely familiar.

I herded Kyrie towards the guard hut at the mountain (nearly tripping because the cat was in the way) where Kadaj was showing a blood-stained photograph of our Mother, Jenova. The bastard son of Shin-Ra looked shocked as Kadaj's form flickered into someone else, explaining he had learned from the real Dr. Drake that Jenova was supposed to be in the Shinra Building, but after searching for it, found nothing. From his tone, I could tell that he was disappointed and was enraged.

I blinked back the burning in my eyes everytime the thought of Jenova/Mother surfaced. I had special awareness and I could barely resist her, what about my brothers? They were totally enchanted by the siren. I blinked rapidly, coming back to reality when the blonde man crumpled to the ground in agony once Kadaj undid his magic on the man. I released Kyrie after a particularly vicious blow to her head.

Just in time to intercept the blow of another. The dagger—a flimsy excuse of a weapon—shattered and the shards flew. A prickling sensation underneath my left eye alerted me of my injury. I lashed out, delivering a roundhouse kick at Tseng.

"Where is Mother, Turk?" Kadaj snarled, drawing Souba and slashing at Tseng who barely was able to roll out of the way.

Tseng's eyes flashed with confusion but pride most likely held him back from saying that he didn't know.

"He doesn't know, Kadaj, let's not waste anymore time. We'll ask the President himself." I remarked calmly, gauging the Turk warily before turning to Kadaj who, with a disgusted _tsk_ left the hut. I followed, making sure to slam the door—after the cat managed to dart out after Kadaj.

I struggled to keep up with him at first, scooping up the cat into my arms because it was too slow, but we started running when Tseng regained himself and with another Turk, chased after us. We split up; neither of our pursuers chased after Kadaj. I was left with the task of distracting them. Damn.

The cover the snow provided me was thick enough for me to sneak onboard their helicopter. Crouching, I pressed my ear against the metal wall, trying to hear what the Turks were saying. A gunshot startled me and I felt worried for Kadaj even though he was about as dangerous and as powerful as a hundred bombs together.

"You!"

I whirled around, facing Elena and Tseng. I cursed when I realized the only weapon I had was Masamune and I doubted I can wield it. Against my will, my body moved on its own; dropping the cat, my body settled into a familiar yet unfamiliar stance, hand reaching for the long katana. I drew it out just in time to counter the Turks gunshot when Elena gave a cry of surprise.

Kadaj had jumped onboard. With the two of us, I know they wouldn't stand a chance. I relaxed, until the helicopter lurched and threw me and my brother out. That damn Turk driving was going to get it. I yelled as I tumbled out into the snowy-air. My cat had no problem landing on its feet. I landed butt-first—"Ouch!"

Kadaj was already on his feet, shaking the snow off his head and was already running after Kyrie and the bastard child of Shin-Ra known as Evan.

"Watch out!" I yelled. "There's snow-covered crevasses there!"

To an onlooker, Kadaj would seemed as if he hadn't heard. But I saw him slow down and watch the ground carefully, testing the waters. I gathered the cat and limped—twisted my ankle damn—towards Kadaj. He'd stabbed the blonde man, causing Kyrie to tumble into one of their own traps.

Above, Tseng ordered Elena to fire a missile, but she hesitated—might be due to Evan's proximity. More Turks arrived—I couldn't be bothered to identify them—but are also unwilling to open fire in fear that Evan might be struck; Tseng ordered them to fire, while Reno, Rude, and Elena kept making excuses. I would've been laughing if it wasn't for the terrible pain down there.

Kadaj was inspecting my wound, not noticing that Evan had removed Souba from his shoulder. He cursed. The blonde man rolled out of the way and far enough from firing range, the Turks open fire on us, but the bullets missed. Once again, my body moved on its own. I sprang onto my feet, unable to scream from the pain, and drew Masamune, deflecting the bullets as Kadaj disappeared, reappearing on the nose of the helicopter.

Kadaj shattered the windshield with his sword and some idiot thought it wise to flung two civilians out of the aircraft. This prompted Kadaj's teleportion technique, but whoever he was targeting had already fled the helicopter. From his own helicopter, Tseng fired a missile at the helicopter, destroying it. I hoped Kadaj managed to escape that.

He didn't appear before me. Cursing, I turned to the crevasses Kyrie and Evan had vanished into. I followed them, careful to keep my steps light and my hand over the cat to prevent it from making any sounds. I watched as they approached a pile of bodies, knelt and inspected it. I applauded myself for being silent but someone chose to expose my cover.

I turned to glare at said person until I realized it was Kadaj being deliberate in his steps.

Hearing Kadaj approaching from behind, the two turned, saw us and promptly fled, passing a hole filled with Lifestream. I glowered at Kadaj but together, we give chase. I heard the man, Evan suggesting to his companion that they jump inside when the handkerchief he was holding fell, unraveling a piece of Jenova's flesh which fell to the ground.

Kadaj cried out, lurching forward and tried to grab it. But Evan kicked it into the Lifestream, prompting Kadaj to jump in after it. I watched in horror, dropping the cat and automatically, throwing myself in after him.

As I free fell, I turned my head and threw the pair menacing glares.

My fall was cushioned by the Lifestream, but that didn't stop the searing hot-cold pain as I felt my self literally dissolving. I hadn't the chance to say anything as I drowned.

Again.

**XXXXXX**


	5. Befriending

**To Be Human**

**xXx**

**Interlude: Case of Denzel**

**xXx**

After I fell into the Lifestream, I was united with my brothers. Bullshit. Thing was, I woke up with no brother material by my side and my whole body ached as if a truck had run over it and decided it was fun so did it again. To cut a long story short, it hurts and I could barely move.

I didn't know how long I laid there, pain wracking my body so badly, I couldn't move. I heard and I felt; the cat I'd wanted to badly to ditch somehow ended up with me and she—when she crawled and licked my face, I saw something inappropriate—seemed bigger and perfectly fine.

I had no such luck.

I was in limbo for the next few days (I think), unable to move and in pain. On the third day, I could finally sit up. On the fourth day, I recovered enough to move around. I was finally ready to ditch the rubble of an abandoned house on the fifth day. In those five days, I had to admit I'd grown quite fond of the cat.

I can whine and rant to her and she'd never say anything against me.

It was... nice. Some time after I'd been so delusional of the pain, I'd started talking about my old life—which I hoped no one heard because they'd think I'm crazy. I seriously am not crazy... just a little extreme and out of the norm maybe. I'm not in the crazy part yet. I had a hard time letting go my past life; I'd everything in the past: love, family, friends and alive. Now, I'm struggling, fighting to get that.

Something that everyone should be born with.

Telling the cat all that, a heavy weight seemed to have left me. It was still annoying though, because it pooped rather close to where I'm resting and I nearly died of the stench. Not to say I'm clean either since I've been immobile and my body still continue to function... well, the dirt in the lower half isn't something I'm proud of.

I tried to clean the leather as best as I can but in the end, I ditched everything except the coat, pants, boots and gloves. I have nothing under the coat and I couldn't clean all the liquids off the pants so I'm hoping that we're close to some sort of town.

I got more than I hoped for. Instead of a town, I got a city: the closest city, Midgar—or, what was left of it anyway. The renewed place, Edge, was still a dump but at least the air pollution wasn't as terrible as before. First things first though, I ducked into a hair salon and moments later, I emerged with navy blue hair. I could practically feel the roots of my hair rotting.

I patted my hair, scanning the crowd for a clothing store.

The one I found was small and the guy watching over the store had the eyes of a hawk. I had to knock him up and rearrange his limbs so that he seemed to be sleeping. I grabbed anything dark colored and ducked into the changing room. The clothing store's outlook was deceiving, dark and mild its coloring was but the clothes in there were pastel shades.

I had very little to chose from. I grimaced as I tugged the camo shorts higher as they were starting to slip off my hips. I pulled my brand new sleeveless leather jacket tighter around me, hiding the white tank top, and nudged the cat with my foot, urging for her to leave the store with me.

Now that my fussiness over my cleanliness had been satisfied, what should I do?

Wait for the time my brothers would attack Midgar and join them? What would I do while I wait for them to take action? Idling and loitering around the slums?

Wouldn't I be better gathering information?

I frowned, starting to walk around the place for the lack of anything to do, as I contemplated my current situation. If I wanted to find my brothers, it was pretty much impossible with only walking as my means of travelling. I didn't know where to get a bike like my brothers had. I was broke—no gil on me but I could always steal.

But the cat would be quite the hindrance and—"Meow!"

I glared down at the cat biting my leather boots ineffectively to hurt me. "What." the cat meowed louder, bite one last time before running off. I scowled but I had nothing better to do, why not run after it as a game?

"Stop right there, cat!" My feet slapped on the pavement as I ran, bending low to swipe the cat up and carry it away. I shoved the passing people, uncaring of how rude I was. There was this one guy which slowed me down quite a lot, actually grabbing my shoulder to demand an apology. I punched his lights out, needless to say.

I thought I'd lost the cat but a loud _meow!_ from my right reassured me that I didn't. I turned on my heel, glowering at the cat. I blinked in astonishment when I saw the cat snuggling up to some kid. A slumrat. I scowled, _tsk_ing and sounding very much like Kadaj, and stalked over to the two.

The young boy raised his head and looked me in the eye, without flinching. I felt curious as to why he hadn't shy away in fear like most do. He glared balefully at me, thrusting out the hand holding the cat. "Is he yours?"

"It's a _she_, kid, not _he_." I said, not knowing why I chose to answer him. I glared at the cat who _meow_ed and ignored me; by the way, how did the cat know to find the boy and why would it do so. If I had no source of food in the next twenty-four hours, I'll be having roasted cat meat. "Anyway, why are you here alone? Where's your family?"

I also didn't know what possessed me to ask that but there was something very familiar in the shaggy auburn hair and dark brown eyes. The boy grunted, pulling himself into a tighter ball he'd already curled himself into. "None of your business, lady." He grunted rudely.

I scowled. "What's your name?"

"Isn't it courtesy to introduce yourself first before asking the name of another?"

_What a cheeky little brat_; I sneered. "I'm Katja."

"Denzel."

Denzel... wait, it sounds familiar. Wasn't it the name of the kid Cloud and Tifa raised in the movie. My brows furrowed together in concern, strange, what was the name of the movie again? I couldn't possible forget something so vital. Did my drop into the Lifestream damaged me so much? Shit.

"What shit?" The boy, Denzel, asked.

"None of your concern, brat." I crooned, throwing back what he'd said back in his face.

Denzel scowled even harder, looking up at me again. "Why are you talking to me?"

"My cat seems to like you, it came to find you."

"That makes no sense!" Denzel protested, looking like a kid for the first time since I'd met him and not like a world-weary adult tired of the evils in this world. "I've never seen the cat before in my life!" He glared at me, crossing his arms and opened his mouth to say something. A loud growl came from his abdomen.

"Haha."

"Don't laugh at me!" the boy snarled angrily. "How is it my fault I haven't eaten in days!"

"Don't exaggerate, I haven't eaten in days as well."

He looked up at me doubtfully, his gaze trailing downwards to my clothes. "Uh-huh. Do you know how expensive leathers are these days?"

I rolled my eyes. "I stole it, stupid."

"Can you steal food too?"

"Heh."

**xXx**

By nightfall, Denzel was as bright as a button, laughing along with the angry roars of the store manager. I smirked, ruffling the compliant boy's hair.

"You're not as bad as I'd originally thought." I offered as he looked up at me—right in my black ones, such a color thanks to the contact lenses I'd donned—in approval.

He beamed, rubbing his full stomach. "Man, I don't think I'd eaten this much."

"Not even when you have a family?"

He winced but I didn't apologize. Why should I? It's not like _I _was the one who'd gotten them killed. He looked at me with that curious glint again but he deigned to answer. "No... even though dad can put food on the table, I couldn't eat a lot, gotta save for rainy days, mom said. Then when they died, an old lady took me in, she wasn't doing very well since she couldn't work anymore and she'd lost connection with her son. She died of this new sickness—Geostigma—not too long ago and I've been on my own since." He paused, uncertainly as he gazed up at me again—even the way he looked at me had changed, no longer scorn but there was admiration and companionship. "Until I met you."

"That last line sounds so cheesy and dramatic." I said, sneering, trying to make up for slipping and being nice earlier—I'd stolen him food, we'd done it together and I'd even praised him.

"Hey!" Denzel protested. "I don't mean it like that. I meant that – that I was glad we'd met! You saved my life!"

Haha. "How so?" It's all so ironic.

"If you hadn't given me food, I would've died of starvation," he said solemnly.

"Drama queen."

"Old hag."

"Brat."

"Meanie — !" A measure of childishness had surfaced within Denzel ever since I'd given him food; I never knew hunger and change a person's personality so much.

I sniffed. "Childish." I ignored his indignant retorts and continued walking, a slight spring in my steps that wasn't there earlier. I guess the brat wasn't that bad after all. But if he continued to follow me, how is he going to find his way to Cloud's?

"Hey," I said after a moment of silence. "You know of a place we can—at the very least—sleep decently?"

Denzel's face scrunched up as he thought about it. He looked funny that I almost smiled. Almost. "Hmm... well, there's this church Ruvie used to take me to pray at, in Sector 5, before she fell ill with Geostigma of course. Shall we go there?"

"Lead the way." I said, allowing myself to be tugged in another direction. I was too caught up with the illness he'd been talking about. In the movie, he had Geostigma too and I'm not too sure but Kadaj and his brothers had them too. Listlessly, my hand drifted to my hip and that feeling came back again—dread, I lifted my shirt and I really shouldn't be so surprised to see the black-green patch. I can practically feel it eating away at my flesh, sinking into my skin then to the bones and finishing me off, contaminating the stream of Life in me.

We stopped abruptly and I let the shirt fall back down.

"Is something wrong?" Denzel asked, not at all shy to ask. He was a bold kid, I'd give him that much.

"Nothing," I said coolly, looking up at the gigantic church which I recalled to belong to a certain Ancient. I knew I was supposed to know her name but... I couldn't remember. What was wrong with me? "Let's—"

"Wait, Katja, you see that?" I looked down and saw Denzel jabbing his finger at something leaning against the church wall. "Let's go check it out!" he said excitedly before zooming off in that direction. My cat, whom had turned its back on me as the owner, followed Denzel.

"Oi, brat! Don't go running away like that!" I jogged after him, coming to a stop beside him as he crouched and started examining the thing. He couldn't see very well in the darkness of night, I suppose.

"What is it?" he asked, fingers groping around the vehicle.

"It's a bike. Want to ride it?"

"Can we really?" Denzel looked ecstatic; his hand reached up to grab the handlebars but his hand bumped into some sort of hard thing. It clattered to the ground loudly and he knelt to retrieve it.

I chuckled, rolling my eyes as Denzel felt around in the completely wrong place. Swiftly, I picked it up and managed to haul the boy up the same time, dangling the PHS in front of his face.

"Wow!" Denzel said, excitedly. "This is really cool! Can we really call someone faraway with this thing?"

I blinked slowly, realizing that neither I nor my brothers had such a device. I shrugged when Denzel looked up at me. "I don't know, why don't we give it a try?"

"Yeah!" I sidled to his side and peered over his shoulder as he randomly tap the buttons. He pressed all the wrong buttons but he was smart enough to know which is the back button.

After a few more seconds of wrong pressing, I reached over and pressed the green phone sign button. Denzel looked mesmerized, pressing the button again and soon, we were calling someone. I stared at the dialing screen; _Seventh Heaven_, it said.

"_Hello, Cloud, is that you? Is something wrong? Why did you call?_"

The voice was a pleasant female's and sounds familiar.

"Isn't that—" I started but the voice cut me off.

"_You're not Cloud_," the female from the other side said, sounding suspicious. "_Where is he? What are you doing with him?_"

"What clouds?" Denzel whispered, kneeling by my side as the voice called repeatedly. He took the PHS from my hands and pressed it to his ears. "Hello?" he said testily. "Who're you?"

A pause on the other side. "I'm no girl," he said moodily.

"Hand that over," I hissed, reaching out to take the phone but he suddenly drop it. "Denzel! What's wrong with you?"

Denzel gave a loud cry of pain, his hands pressing his forehead as if he had a headache. He stared at the dark liquid spilled on his fingers. "Is... is that _blood_?"

"When were you hurt? Why didn't you tell me?" I demanded as I pried his fingers away from the phone he'd been reaching for; the female's voice was concerned for a stranger she'd never met and I doubted such a nice person ever existed. I paused, sniffing. "This is no blood." I said but he'd already collapsed.

I sighed, hooking my arms under his armpits and pulling his listless body into the church. As I'd expected, there was a bedroll there. From what I could remember, Cloud preferred living here so it was not much of a surprise to see some sleeping materials here. Since I'm so gracious, I let Denzel sleep on the lower half of it while I occupied the rest. It made no difference since I ended up kicking him away anyway.

I grunted, rubbing the sleep from my eyes. I sat up and stared ahead of me and nearly jumped back into the wall.

Standing before me, in all of his spiky headed-sleepy-guilt-ridden-hero, was Cloud Strife. His blue eyes were narrowed as he studied me. His lips pressed into a thin and angry line.

Shit.

At times like these, I wished I'd a better variety of curses.


	6. Deceiving

**To Be Human**

**xXx**

**Interlude: Case of Cloud I**

**xXx**

I tensed, anticipating an attack. When he moved closer to me and Denzel's still sleeping form, I lashed out, my fist swinging at him. His eyes widened a split second, not anticipating my attack, but he caught me easily by the wrist.

He opened his mouth to say something but I didn't stop to hear. Blood roared in my ears; I twisted, and tried to jab him with my elbow but he maneuvered out of the way, not releasing my wrist. He studied me curiously, obviously not seeing me as a threat. It irked me and everyone knew I was a prideful one. I jack-knifed up high enough to free myself and deliver a blow to his face. My booted feet only graze his chin. In return, he grabbed both of my hands and slammed me into the ground.

Not too hard, of course. He must have thought I was some sort of civilian to hold back. Heck, if he knew who I was, he'd have ran me through with his sword long ago.

I twisted but he didn't let go.

"Release me!" I snarled.

"Not until you explain why you wanted me dead so badly." Cloud said flatly.

"Is that... is that a joke?" I glared up at him; the fear that he could kill me hadn't subsided but at least it was quelled for the moment.

He didn't answer, his blue gaze trailed to Denzel's sleeping form, his brows contorted in pain. His eyes widen with understanding when it landed on the black and green patch on his forehead. He turned his gaze back to me, trailed lower and stopped at the exposed skin by my hips.

"Geostigma," he murmured and he released me, stepping back but still wary. "Are you okay?"

I sprang to my feet, my eyes narrowed in suspicion at him. "Yes," I said testily. "What are you doing here?"

It seemed that the both of us are into the Asking Stupid Questions Day because that was totally not what I wanted to ask—heck, I don't even know what to do anymore. And they call me the one who knows it all. Bah.

"I... live here."

I raised a skeptical brow but retreated to where Denzel lay. I crouched down by his side, eyeing the bedroll. "You want this?" I lifted it, gently moving Denzel's head away and dumping it in Cloud's direction. "Take it. We're just crashing here until we find a place to stay."

"Orphans?"

I couldn't help the sarcasm. "No, we live here." I snorted, rolling my eyes. "Don't bother us, I'll wake him up and we'll be leaving."

"You called, last night." Cloud frowned, as if he was struggling to find the right words. Had he been away from civilization for so long? His voice was raspy as if he hadn't used it in quite a while and was just finding out the wonders of communicating. "Tifa said there was a boy and girl—"

"Denzel and me," I finished for him. "What do you want then? You've seen us, we did nothing to your bike or phone."

"The both of you are ill." There's that struggle in his face again, finding the right words must be hard for him.

"So?" I don't think I'll live long enough to see the disease finish me off.

"This is no coincidence," Cloud muttered softly to himself. With my enhanced hearing, I heard what he said but what he didn't know wouldn't hurt him. Much. "Aerith... did you lead me to them?"

This guy was talking to himself—or some sort of imaginary friend, he's got to be nuts. I mean, I knew he was quite out of it in the movie but to be muttering to himself? Nuts, he'd lost a few screws there. Abruptly, his head turned to us and I shifted further back.

"Come with me."

"Why?"

"The boy you're with is injured, ill, my friend and I can help him."

"You can heal him?" Impossible. And we both know it.

"Soothe him, can't you see he's in pain?"

I relented. Not out of the kindness of my heart but because this is a good opportunity to learn something. Cloud approached us; my cat hissed at him but the man didn't pay it any mind. He knelt and reached for Denzel and I nearly slapped his hand away.

He must've seen my clenched fists because he raised an eyebrow. "In case you're wondering, I'm carrying your brother to my friend's place."

"He's not my brother, he's just a kid I've taken a liking to," I said grumpily as I stalked after him. "Don't be mistaken."

He snorted softly and I thought I heard him murmur _whatever you say _but the wind blew away most of his words. He carried Denzel to the bike and with unusual gentleness—I don't think macho men would be so gentle, had a liking to kids or not—in his actions. I raised a skeptical eyebrow.

"How is he going to stay on?"

"He'll be sitting in front of me."

"And you'll be driving." I stated flatly. Riding behind Kadaj was one thing but riding behind the back of a stranger was another thing. Even though I knew that Cloud—who I knew all about and yet knew nothing about in the flesh—wouldn't harm a bunch of kids, I was still slow to trust; what if he recognizes me somehow or does he have some sort of Sephiroth sensor in him? "Are you sure it's safe?"

Cloud must've thought I was worried about Denzel—are you _kidding_ me, what a joke. Honestly, I was just worried I'd fall off if he made a swerve. But anyways, his eyes softened. "I'll drive carefully."

Cloud placed Denzel on the bike first, steadying him before he straddled it and turned ot me expectantly. Reluctantly, I straddled the bike, settling myself behind him. Cloud didn't start the bike, he glanced back uncertainly at me.

"What?" I snapped. "I'm not going to stab you with a knife or anything."

His eyes narrowed, which meant that was probably what he was thinking or maybe he had something else on his mind entirely. "Hang on tight, I can't guarantee your safety if you don't hold on to anything."

I wanted to ask what was there to hold on to but the answer was painfully obvious. "Oh, carry on, start the bike and let's get this over with." Hugging Kadaj was one thing, but hugging Cloud... if Tifa saw, she'd chop my head off. "You sure it's completely safe?"

"Fenrir is user friendly." Cloud said dryly. I couldn't tell from his tone he was kidding or he was serious. He revved the engine and we suddenly lurched forward. Before I knew it, I had my arms around Denzel's waist, who was sitting in front of Cloud. It only occurred to me that both boys before me were so lanky.

"Warn me next time, will you?"

"Sorry." He didn't sound at all sorry. But then again, he didn't sound like he felt anything in his actions.

True to his word, Cloud did drive carefully, without speeding too much unless the road was clear of crowds and that it was a smooth lane. I was the first off Fenrir—if you're wondering—when Cloud slowed down.

"I never want to do that again." I declared as Cloud easily lift Denzel into his arms and getting off his bike.

"You asked to warn you the next time you ride the bike with me." Cloud remarked.

Before I can retort, a pretty busty—the first thing I, or anyone in my place, I'd noticed—young woman with dark hair and eyes approached us. She eyed me and the kid in Cloud's arms—which was when her eyes instantly filled with concern for the boy.

"What happened?" she cast me a suspicious glance.

"What? You thought I did something to him?" I crossed my arms and glared up at her. You hear that? _Up_. I had to look _up_ at her because I was embarrassingly smaller. "I'm telling you, lady—"

Someone cuffed me and I spluttered. I shot Cloud a glare; times like these, I hope Mother and Sephiroth can really kick his ass. A dark smirk crawled onto my face but when Cloud turned, my cheeks drooped back to my normal expression. I averted my gaze to not let him see how shaken I was. Because the smirk was _not_ of my own accord.

**xXx**

Cloud Strife and Tifa Lockhart were suckers for sad stories.

The two had questioned us who we are and what happened to us. Denzel's sob story of how his parents died did the trick with me adding bits and pieces of myself—"I had brothers but I don't know whether or not they make it out of Midagr"—but without revealing too much. Being secretive came naturally to Denzel it seems, thank Jenova.

Tifa and Cloud took us in, they didn't say it directly but—"If you want, you can consider this your home, Katja, Denzel," Tifa smiled gently—the heavy implication was there. Of course, they're the reason the Sector 7 came crashing down. If they'd been more subtle... actually, if they were subtle, that would be bad because then Denzel and I wouldn't have met and I would still be stuck, out there, lost in the streets.

Denzel was so delighted to finally have another place call home he fitted in perfectly. That brat even found himself a girlfriend in the form of Marlene Wallace.

I felt left out among the humans but at least I had my pet cat.

Life with Tifa and the rest were boring and strangely familial. I would've enjoyed it a little if the guys were replaced by my brothers instead. I didn't say it out loud and I wouldn't admit it to anyone either but I missed them so damn much.

Everything about them: Loz' obnoxious sobs and laughter, Yazoo's teases and small smiles, Kadaj's cruelty and sick sense of humor. I wonder if they miss me too. Definitely Loz, I could practically imagine his cries. Yazoo may miss me silently and Kadaj might be ranting about finding Mother and reuniting us with Her help, caring in his own way. I wonder if they're looking for me.

Then there was Big Bad Brother Cloud, that spiky haired guy wasn't there most of the time. But Marlene said he'd been dropping by more often with our arrival. I didn't see what's so good about it, he was scarce even with the arrival of newcomers... back then must be really rare for him to visit.

The door opened, chiming softly to signal the arrival of someone, and closed softly. I didn't bother turning around, knowing it was Cloud. It was easy to know where he as because of the Jenova cells within us. There was something akin to a sensory link between us. Sometimes, I even find myself brooding and I caught Cloud smirking once in a while at something I would've smirked at.

I sincerely hope he didn't notice. If we were to fight, I knew I'd lose.

Today was unlike the usual when Cloud arrived. Instead of heading to Tifa over there, already smiling sweetly at Cloud, he approached me. Glumly, I turned to face him.

"What?"

He held something in his hands and my eyes widen in alarm when I realized it was a katana. He handed it over to me and I was stunned _who would hand over a weapon to their enemy?_ before I realized he didn't even know of my true origins and intentions.

"Take it," he said softly.

I did, examining the katana, quirking a brow before I realized that I'd lost Masamune during my fall into the Lifestream. Oops; hopefully it had been reunited with Sephiroth in there. "Why?" I asked, curious. I certainly didn't ask for such a gift.

"You might not know but..." Cloud ran a hand through his hair. "Denzel has been pestering me to teach him how to fight. He said you liked fighting too. He said you're a sword person."

So I have someone to kill for spilling my secrets, eh?

I drew the katana from its sheath, realizing it was a dual-edged blade like Kadaj's. Abruptly, I turned and brought the sword down in a slicing arc—

Blocked. Cloud blocked it; he'd moved so fast that I didn't see him move his hand towards his sword and disengage one of the smallest blades to deflect my attack. Insulted at the ease with his dodge, I pushed on.

Slash—Blocked—Strike—Blocked—Thrust—Blocked—

"Enough!" Tifa's voice rang out through the blood rushing in my ears. "If you want to fight, fine. Go to the training grounds. You're scaring all my customers, away!"

I wanted to attack Cloud here, didn't want to stop. But the man himself nodded, sword in hand, he took my hand and dragged me out of the bar.

"Where are we going?" I asked after my head had cooled down from the bloodlust.

"Somewhere," he answered vaguely.

His somewhere turned out to be an abandoned building. Which wasn't that hard to find. In the ruins of Midgar, there were plenty of places to battle it all out.

This time, he lunged first. I skidded a few feet back from the sheer force of his movement. My arms ached to hold my own. He pushed forward and I jumped back, the wind whistling in my ear, pouring in the excitement and fear.

He swung his massive sword, would've taken my head if I hadn't ducked. I dodged all of his blows but just barely—I couldn't even find the chance to attack. Damn it.

I cursed, lunging forward, the katana in my hands separating into two—one deflected the oncoming blow and the other slashed. Cloud defended easily, allowing me to go on offense instead of pushing me into defense. The only reason he was retreating was because he wanted to, he allowed me to pursue him.

Arrogant, so damned arrogant, this black sheep brother of mine.

I delivered a kick, raining blows in between slashes and thrusts but to no avail; most of my attacks only graze him, not enough to bruise and certainly not enough to hurt. His hits were painful, when our swords crossed, my arms were jarred from the impact and ached.

I hissed in pain as Cloud sent me flying into a close rubble.

"Ouch," I muttered, feeling my broken ribs. My vision fuzzed in and out, filling with black spots and I realized my head was very dizzy with the amount of blows I'd took. Cloud approached me carefully, eyes showing the concern he felt but the guilt was more overwhelming.

"I went too far," he was muttering to himself. Again. Fruitcake.

I waited. He waited. We waited. Cloud approached my limp form—one step, two steps and the third fell soundlessly—and I lunged.

Cloud's eyes widened in surprise as my punch connected with his face. Finally. Even though I played dirty. He swung his sword to sent me scattering but I jumped, landed on his sword nimbly, and swiped my katana at him.

Some time, admist the blows we exchanged, I realized that I wasn't at all controlling my body. Someone—it's **him**, I just know _it's him_—was moving my body, controlling it like a puppet. My muscles screamed in pain but I couldn't resist. With the way my body contorted under his control, you'd think I was some sort of contortionist.

"Stop!" Cloud's voice followed by the sound of metal splitting, something disengaging. And my katana flew out of my hands; before I knew it, he'd straddled me, restraining me, his swords that had separated earlier at my throat. And suddenly, I felt like myself again, in control of my own body instead of being a spectator of a puppet. Right, so ditch me when our life's in danger. Very helpful that silver haired dead guy.

"I had fun." The words drew itself out of my mouth, voice hoarse and low. It wasn't me, so was not me.

"Who are you, exactly?" Cloud's voice was dangerous, his eyes assessing me again. His fingertips brushed my cheeks and it came up with black liquid. It wasn't Geostigma, I knew mine was on my hips, just spreading more and more. "Contact lenses," he murmured softly. "Why didn't I notice?"

I blinked rapidly, rubbing the remains of the contact lenses of my cheeks. The Mako burning in me had melted the poor thing. Idiot, now I'd just warned Cloud and the others that Sephiroth was coming back and that he had many other remnants to do his bidding.

Stupid, I was cursing myself and was preparing myself to die again when Cloud rose off me.

I didn't move. "What are you waiting for? You know who I am now."

"I suppose," Cloud mused. "...a puppet wouldn't know what its puppetmaster is planning."

I wanted to argue but I couldn't deny anything. Just now's display of power had been Sephiroth, he'd been controlling me and possibly, without my conscious, manipulating me. My fists clenched, ordering myself to think because things couldn't simply end here.

"So what if I'm a puppet?" I snarled back to buy time. "Once upon a time, you were a puppet too!"

"Why did you wait so long to strike?" _Because I knew I couldn't defeat you—coupled with Tifa's kick-ass martial arts—alone._

He thought I was waiting for the time I can kill him? Hm... maybe... "Why did you give me a weapon in the first place?"

He was silent. "To test me?" It was a wild shot in the dark. "To know my true intentions?"

He didn't say anything. I took his silence as a yes.

I struggled to my feet, my hair conveniently falling into place to hide my face in case he could tell from my face I was lying.

"You said so yourself," I gasped as pain wracked my side, the effort of moving when my ribs were like these... "...that I'm nothing but a puppet, a clone. What better way for a clone to prove oneself other than to outdo the original?"

"I'm not Sephiroth."

I couldn't see Cloud's face. But I hope his feelings were somewhere along those _merciful_ and _empathy_ lines.

"But you... you defeated him... doesn't that count as something? My purpose..." I tried to sound as broken as possible, to use his human emotions against him because he was once like me, he was once as broken as I was, striving for a purpose. I tried to think of something that might be heartbreaking for me and that memory of a stupid dream surfaced again—_KadajYazooLoz all dead and I _am _alone_.

The sword he'd been pointing at me finally lifted. Cloud studied me warily as he re-attached his sword. Then he started walking away. I staggered to my feet, limping after him.

We were silent for a long, long time before Cloud finally broke the silence.

"I will be watching you."

It sounds more like a _I'll kill you if you hurt them_ threat but I didn't comment on it. "Will you be telling them?"

"No," Cloud said, stopping by a general store and peering in. The man watching the store stammered a greeting, awed to see Gaia's hero walking into his store. I thought it was pathetic but Cloud politely returned his greeting and went in further. He picked a small packet and scrutinized it heavily, before handing some gil over to the man. He turned back to me and started walking again.

"Why not?"

"I may understand how you feel but Tifa won't. She's not as tolerant as I am."

I scowled. "So I'm something to be tolerated now?"

"Someone annoying to be tolerated," Cloud corrected me softly, handing me the packet he'd brought earlier. I stared at the box then back at Cloud's retreating form which disappeared completely from my sight once he entered Seventh Heaven's door. "There's a sink at the back."

I did as he told, putting on the new contacts which was the exact same color from the old one. Once the itch in my eyes had subsided, I made my way—limping, I meant—to the bar. I didn't bother returning the greeting Tifa sent me.

I caught her eyes briefly, watching as they narrow in suspicion.

I snorted. "I didn't do anything to Cloud."

"But he... hurt you?" Tifa didn't sound like she believed what she'd said.

I threw her a glance before I climbed the stairs up to the room I shared with Denzel and Marlene. I want a shower very badly, I stunk of sweat and blood.


	7. Leaving

**To Be Human**

**xXx**

**Interlude: Case of Cloud II**

**xXx**

To say Cloud and I got along well after that was ridiculous. It was even more ridiculous to even consider that we'd get along well. I was under the impression Cloud would want to distant himself from anything or anyone reminding him of Sephiroth. He didn't hate me, he stayed by my side more often than not.

Oh, also, he'd dropped by much more often, like, daily.

Tifa, Marlene and Denzel were simply ecstatic even though the reason he was there, at the bar was because he wanted to keep an eye on me, to prevent me from doing anything fishy. I scoffed, I wasn't that stupid to try that and Cloud really shouldn't be wasting his time mourning here.

He can take his brooding elsewhere because he was affecting me even though I was already used to his routine and sometimes, I caught myself feeling…uncomfortable when he was late or when he didn't show up sometimes. I wonder what was wrong with me?

And also, did I mention that he was practically hovering behind me when I was handling something that could be used as a weapon? I mean…a broom and an empty bottle? Seriously?

My hands trembled under his intense stare. It was late night and the bar had closed earlier than usual thanks to me. I had started a fight—nothing unusual there—with the customer and had sent all the customers packing. Needless to say, Tifa was totally pissed at me and not even Cloud's presence could calm her down. She'd left to count how much gil we'd lost after this fiasco, grumbling and cursing (me), and had assigned Cloud to watch over me as I was punished to mop the whole floor with a cloth.

Like fucking _Cinderella_ back in my world. I was poor, poor Cinders while Tifa's the step-mother and sisters all rolled up in one.

"Stupid," I muttered moodily, as I picked up another glass shard—it'd crashed onto the floor along with the rest of the glasses of drinks when that man lunged at me and I had to drop my tray to sent him packing with both fists. "What did she expect? This a bar, man, of course there'll be fights. Why is she blaming me and not that man? He's at fault too…"

Cloud shifted again, still staring at me. "You do know that talking to oneself is a sign of insanity?"

"You think you're very sane?" I countered as I furiously scrubbed a particularly deep stain. My fury lend me unneeded strength because I'd just crushed the wooden floor. I groaned even louder but then I stilled. Stiffly, I glanced up to where Cloud had moved his hand to his mouth. Was that guy laughing?

"Y– what are you laughing at," I hissed, waving the cloth in his face. I sighed, realizing that I was being uncharacteristically childish and was acting like a total brat. I just didn't like being laughed at, talk about humiliating.

"Do you hate cleaning that much?"

"Yes—and I'm being blame for something I didn't cause." Cloud eyed me with that _really_ look. "Fine, just half of it is my fault okay? What about the other half?"

I sighed, moaned, groaned and cussed every so often as I scrub the floor.

I didn't know how long but Cloud rose after quite a while. With a sigh, he left. Scowling, I decided that I'd cleaned up enough. I don't think Tifa will notice and hopefully Cloud's presence tomorrow morning will cool off her anger. I leaned back, stretching and arching my back when I knocked over the bucket of foamy water.

I groaned loudly, not more work to do. I'll just leave it there, as long as no one step on it, nothing will happen and by the time Tifa came in the next morning, it'd have evaporated. Satisfied with my current plan, I stood and leapt over the puddle.

"Katja," I looked up where Tifa's voice came from. "Are you done?"

I swore silently, taking a step back and it set of a chain of events.

I bumped into Cloud and since I'm enhanced, my push was enough to move him. Moving without friction on the ground was practically begging to slip and fall. He did, and there must be something wrong with his brain because he thought I was something sturdy to hold on to. I fell too, cliché right? And to top it all off, Tifa rounded the stairs and saw us.

Her jaw dropped open.

My brain registered a few things at once: one, I was wet; two, Cloud's invading my personal space and three, Tifa won't be pleased.

I scrambled to my feet, enhanced and all so I'm pretty fast.

"_Nothing_—absolutely nothing—happened between us, right, Cloud?" I kicked his shin to elicit a response.

He nodded unconvincingly as if he'd spoken one whole paragraph of excuse with it. If anything, it only served to make whatever Tifa was thinking brew more and more.

I just wished I could find my brothers now.

**xXx**

Days and weeks came and gone and I was getting restless.

No news. Nothing. Absolutely nothing from my brothers or mother. Jenova had been silent and it made me wonder what was wrong. Did something happen to them? I wondered. My gaze drifted to the calendar before I glanced back down at my crossed arms, contemplating what I should do next.

My cat meowed in discomfort as if it sensed what I was thinking: leaving.

I have to go—don't care where, just anywhere but here. I was getting too attached. Days spent being annoyed by the kids and annoying the adults was making me soft. I need to go before I go crazy here. Their presence—especially Cloud's—was stifling. The feeling of being overwhelmed by these sort of cozy emotions was driving me nuts.

Even on my original planet, my original family had never been this loving. We were close sure but we don't flutter around one another when we're injured. If you're in an embarrassingly tough situation, you're on your own while we laugh our ass off. Here, it was different; everyone sailed to everyone's defense. Kadaj and the other were never like this; they were like _deal with your own problem and we'll help when you're dying or something_.

I had no belongings and we didn't take any sort of picture.

It would be easy to leave this place, leaving no trace of my existence behind. The customers might wonder where did that short-tempered worker be but then they'd just forget me. Tifa…I don't think she'd mind much but then without me would Cloud still visit as often? Maybe, for Denzel he would. The boy might miss me for awhile but he had Marlene to soothe his pain—and there was nothing good with associating with me. I was on a mission to destroy what Cloud and the gang was fighting so hard for.

In the end, I didn't gather any information but I realized one thing.

Whatever Jenova did to me, she was severing _everything_. My memories from my past life, the things I should know of this world but can't seem to. She was taking everything away and I want to hear an explanation now. Maybe not now but I want an explanation. Do you know how it feels; frustrating, try to imagine being millimeters of something you want to reach, at the tip of your fingers but no matter how much you strain, you can't go any further. And the thing you're trying to reach cost the whole world.

It was an accursed chilly midnight that I'd chosen to leave.

The end in the world in two more months, if I calculated correctly the timeline from what little left I knew of the future of this world. The hanging sign of _you will all fail and die_ didn't make me want to stay. In fact, I want to leave even more now; I'd rather die by my brothers' side than in a place full of people I'd never want to know.

I pulled my coat tighter around me, nudging the cat with my foot. "Come on, let's go."

"Go where?"

I shrugged, muscles tensed. If I had a head start, maybe I could outrun Cloud. I was as enhanced as him—no, I was more Mako than blood. I could outrun him but then he'd have the suspicion I'm up to something and he'd be preparing his gang for an attack.

"Away." I sneered.

Cloud didn't move from behind me. "Will you come back?" Upon that question, I felt my body went stiff.

As though knowing what my answer would be, Cloud moved, grasping my wrists. I winced because his strength was almost as great as Loz's. The muscles in his arms tensed as if he wanted to move them but he wasn't sure doing that was the right thing. "You know…I'm someone who originally planned to kill you." I told him, the words that came from my mouth surprising even me—I wondered was Sephiroth making me say what I was saying; how far did his influence go?

However, Cloud's expression only softened upon that.

"Then why did you stay for two months?" He asked. "You said it yourself didn't you? I lowered my guard many times around you after you lied to me about your origin—even after the spar we had. You could've hurt Tifa and the kids but you didn't do it. Wasn't it because you cared?" At his words, I felt a faint smile slowly swept across my lips.

"It's a beautiful night…"

"Don't change the subject."

It was inevitable but… "I don't hate you"—I was rather surprised to find I was telling the truth but there was unspoken words too, _I don't want to hurt myself either_—"so I won't tell you."

I reached over and pecked him on the cheek. "Bye, Nii-san."

When I turned my back and left, he didn't follow.

I walked for quite a while, long enough to see Midgar in the distance. I glanced down at the cat. "I haven't named you had I?"

The cat meowed as if to say _well, duh_.

"What do you think of the name _Cloud_?"

**xXx**

It was the fifth town I'd tried and yet, I still hadn't found my brothers. Where could they possibly be, I thought as my lips turn down into a displeased frown. Without a brother material by my side, I was feeling very down and with only an annoying cat as my companion…even thought her name was Cloud.

I wonder if that simple platonic gesture was mine or Sephiroth's intention. If it was the latter, he was very good in manipulating me.

Illinois was a small town full of blooming flowers. It never existed on maps before but ever since Meteorfall, it was starting to be known throughout the nation because many people stumbled upon this place to seek refuge. I glanced around for an inn, knowing that it'd be futile to try looking for a head of silver anymore. I totally give up on that one. I even off-ed my senses to stop them from giving me misleading directions (after that one time I nearly walk off a waterfall, I lost faith in my internal sensor).

Sighing, I pushed open the door to the inn…

…only to run into someone… who I had no wish to see. I realized this the moment I looked up into the man's face. Talk about bad luck. Tseng and Elena of the Turks.

I cursed, jumping back as the clicks of a gun was heard. Their guns had been custom-made to make as little noise as possible but my enhanced hearing caught the sound easily. I narrowed my eyes at them, my hand twitching towards the dual-edged blade Cloud had given me—I hadn't found it in me to throw away such a gift.

A… memento mori. Such a phrase only fitting for the sword. Perhaps that is why it's its name.

"We meet again," I smirked, trying to look as confident as possible. "How are you?" Sarcasm… what a useful verbal tool, I'd never forget how magical it is.

Elena pointed her gun at my face while Tseng retreated to gather more distance between us. I searched my scattered memories as to how to deal with this two. This two were captured by my brothers weren't they? If I followed them, wouldn't they lead me to them? But what if my presence would side-track their real target?

Whatever, I just can't get caught now.

_The Northern Crater_, _**his**_ voice murmured in my mind. _Head there_.

I backed up quickly, scooping cat-Cloud into my arms and darting away. They had bikes, cars and helicopters. What can I do to outrun them? Run, just run like the wind.

Until I find my brothers, I couldn't stop running.

**xXx**

AN

For your information, the kiss Katja gave Cloud was completely platonic - unless I find the opportunity to expand things or some people voted for Cloud/Katja.


	8. Hurting

**To Be Human**

**xXx**

**Interlude: Case of Rayleigh.**

**xXx**

As I ran, I made sure to leave clues here and there—not because I was careless or I wanted them to catch me, it was because I have to lure the Turks to the Northern Crater. There would be where my brothers are waiting. I hope either Sephiroth or Jenova would have told them that I'd be there or else I'd be dead meat.

They followed me, Tseng and Elena; I wondered did they not think that this might be a trap? Yet, they were following me like moths drawn to flame.

I checked the map again as I rested for awhile for the unenhanced Turks to catch up to me. I'd left Illinois long ago and close to Icicle Inn. I was tempted to rest there for awhile but all I want now is to be reunited with my brothers again. Rest and cleanliness be damn. But if I'm quick… maybe I can sneak in a few hours of nap.

With that in mind, I scooped up Cloud—my cat, not be confused with the ex-SOLDIER—and started running again. In my old body—I kept thinking about my life in the other world to remind myself of who I was originally—I couldn't possibly have run miles without passing out. But this new body of mine was spectacular; my body was covered in a sheen of sweat and I'm tired yes, but I recovered quickly too. Just sitting on a boulder for five minutes and I'm recharged (for awhile anyway).

A few hours later, I'm totally regretting ever having set foot in Icicle Inn. One, I hate the cold and I couldn't stand it. Two, I had no suitable clothes for the weather.

I shivered, my teeth chattered. Even my cat had lost all sense of adventure, snuggling in my arms for warmth.

"Katja?"

I stiffened, turning around.

A brown haired brown eyed woman was staring at me in concern; Rayleigh. Did this woman have some sort of radar for me or something? Is she a spy or am I really that lucky? Whatever, I figured I could use her help.

"Er…Hello, ma'am."

"You still remember me, yes?" Rayleigh approached me, touching my coated shoulder, frowning. "You're not dressed appropriately in this sort of weather. Come with me." She didn't wait for my answer, instead, steering me towards the inn. She ushered me up the stairs and into the a door down the second hallway.

I was wary of course, how I know she still works for Shin-Ra or no?

I glanced around, noting some baby materials and men-wear. So she came with her son and husband. She had her family with her, I want my family with me too. I plopped down by a wooden chair while Rayleigh grumbled and reached into her bag for a kit.

I recoiled. "What are you doing?"

"Seriously," the woman huffed, holding a bottle. "I thought you're a medic for your brothers. Walking in this sort of weather and not properly clothed, I'm a hundred-percent sure you have frostbite."

"No, I just have some rashes," I said, removing my leather boots from my sore feet—though I'd never admit it to her. I held out my hand, "The bottle?"

Instead of letting me do it myself, she hauled me up and pushed me towards the bathroom. "You're freezing, I know you are," she said by means of explanation. "Don't you want a hot shower?"

I nodded but hesitated. "Why are you so nice to me?"

She stiffened and I was all but ready to run out the door—even if I didn't, there's a window in the bathroom, thank goodness. Rayleigh sat on the bed, pulling some clothes out from her travelling bag. "Before my son, Lionel, I was supposed to have a daughter but…"

"Miscarriage?" I asked rather bluntly.

"Yes." She said. "It was a long time ago, had she lived, she'd be about as old as you now."

I squinted at the woman, noting that upon closer inspection and how her shoulders slumped in defeat, she looked older than someone in the thirties.

"I'm not your daughter," I said. "And I don't think that she'd appreciate having herself being replaced by a criminal."

Rayleigh's eyes widened but I slipped off into the bathroom before she can reply.

I knew I sounded harsh but if she got too attached to and vise versa, I'm worried that I'd hesitate when the time comes to crush the world. I stripped myself of my clothes and stepped into the hot shower, sighing in relief. The warm water soothed me and I would've relaxed completely, content to massage my aching muscles if not for the loud knock on the door.

I stepped out of the shower and pressed my ear to the wall, straining to hear through the loud sounds of water beating on the marble tile.

"Open up the door, yo!" a masculine voice came from the other side of the room door.

I blanched, hand fumbling for the extra towel in the bathroom. I turned the knob and shut the shower, drying my hair as best I can and wrap myself in a towel.

Rayleigh unlocked the door and, I assumed she'd peered out to see who our visitor was.

"Yes?" she asked politely but I can sense the tone of hostility in her voice. Evidently, she didn't like Shin-Ra. "Is there anything I can help you, with?"

"We're looking for a kid, yo. Silver hair, blue hair—any color really, she kept dying it. Female, about fourteen or so. Had green eyes like our ex-General, yo—hey, Rude! I bet she's his sister or kid something."

"Sephiroth…?"

I'm so dead. I rattled the window's lock, contemplating just punching it because it's jam, stuck. Shit.

To my—and probably the Turks—surprise, Rayleigh laughed. "A kid? Sister? If Sephiroth did have one of those, I would've known. Hojo would've kept them all in his lab and experiment on them."

Is…is that ex-scientist _protecting_ me? I held my breath and crossed my fingers, not daring to hope.

"Yeah…well…" Of course, Reno wasn't one to be deterred so easily. I fumbled with the knob on the window, finally managing to move it. "The receptionist said you brought a kid in with you when there's only you and your little family of three."

Is he subtly threatening her? I grabbed my clothes and tucked them safely under my arm, anticipating with baited breath as to what would happen next.

A loud _meow_ was my answer. Cloud! That stupid and loyal cat had followed me. Was it actually…distracting the Turks for me? Is that cat smart enough? Wait—how was a cat supposed to know how to trick humans? Did so many drops into the Lifestream with me mutate its brain that much? Wow.

"Hey! It's that girl's cat!"

The sound of nails scraping and the fading sounds of footsteps fading told me they'd left. Rayleigh closed the door and locked it. "You can come out now," she called.

I opened the door and peered out. "They're gone?"

Rayleigh handed me a bunch of clothes. "Dress and we're going to talk."

I did as told, but was slightly unhappy that the color of the snow coat that hid the long turtle-neck was light pink with white fur. It tickled my nose and I nearly sneezed. At least I had long black pants to compensate for the light color.

"What do you want to know?" I asked, fiddling with one of the puffy-balls that was the accessory for the snow coat.

"I'm sorry you had to sacrifice your cat because I was unable to come up with a good lie." Rayleigh offered as she settled herself on her bed.

"Nah, Cloud will be fine."

Something like recognition flashed in Rayleigh's eyes. "Cloud?" she echoed.

"What? Is something wrong with the name?"

"No," the ex-scientist. "It's just the same with a cadet I met once. He saved my life, till this day, I couldn't find him to thank him for his help."

I raised my head in interest. "Oh. I know him," I said though I don't know why. "He's living at Seventh Heaven in Edge."

"You've met him?" she smiled.

"Yes. Lived with him and his friends for a while, as one of the orphans they took in."

"He's married now?"

I scowled, trying to quell that burning uncomfortable sensation that came sometimes when I saw Tifa. "What makes you think that?"

"He's raising kids…" Rayleigh trailed off the moment she noticed my heavy scowl. "Anyways, why aren't you there?"

"I left to find my brothers."

"Why did they leave you?" the woman asked, concerned.

"We were separated," I answered quickly before she can come to all the wrong conclusions.

"The Turks are after you…may I presume you and your brothers are…criminals?"

"No." _Not yet_, I thought to myself. "It has something to do with…" I tugged at the fading dye on my hair, the silver strands shining through the blue.

Rayleigh eyed me in a calculative way, reminding me of the scientist she once was. Just because she had retired didn't mean she was an idiot. I could practically hear her brain whirl, spewing hypothesis here and there before casting them away once she deemed them too implausible.

"You're really his…" she struggled to find the right word.

"Sister. Clone—failed clone, anyway. Shin-Ra's been after me and my brothers."

"Ah…all clones?"

"Yeah," I confirmed, not knowing why I trust her enough to tell her this. I narrowed my eyes at her and asked a little too late. "You're not going to tell on me, are you?"

"No," she said and I believed her. She held out her hand towards me, and I stiffened. But she didn't touch my face or aimed to harm me, she caressed the strands of my hair. "Not surprising that it's still so silky."

"Why not?" I asked curiously.

"Your mako and superior cells are stopping your hair from rotting at the roots."

I felt my mood lighten slightly at this; a small, minuscule smile curled on my lips. "That's great."

"You really love your hair don't you?" She held up a comb. "May I…?"

I nodded, hesitated once before turning my back on her. I kept my senses alert in case she wanted to stab me with a needle. I felt her take my hair in her hands and started combing the wild strands. I figured this was something I can do for her—fulfill a dream of her doing something with her daughter, who I'd never be but could pretend to be, even if just for a while—after all she'd done for me.

Even I know how to be grateful. So did my brothers, but they just didn't show it much.

"You're very nice," I offered. "You're willing to harbor a wanted person."

Rayleigh chuckled, stroking my hair. "My husband isn't someone with a clean record either."

"Oh…?"

"My husband, Lee, was a member of AVALANCHE—the old one that had been defeated and disbanded. He was captured and that was how I met him. I was working part-time with Hojo, he was a despicable man that experiments on humans and looks down on women." Rayleigh's voice tightened with anger and I felt strangely pleased to know someone other than me hate Hojo. "He looked down on me, doubting my work and how I'd achieved my position as a scientist close to his caliber. As an act of defiance, I set Lee—and a few of the other prisoners—free. He literally swept me off my feet and out of the place as captive. Tried to use me as a leverage to get to Shin-Ra, you see."

"They didn't take the bait?"

"No, and they gave it up as a lost cause and finally disbanded. I returned to my hometown in Kalm, he followed me. And well, things…well, you know."

"That's…nice."

Rayleigh seemed happy too, to be able to tell of how epic a tale she'd met her husband. It made me wonder how did my parents met. Jenova was my mother so was man enough to get her? I don't think I have a father in this world.

"Meow!"

Me and Rayleigh turned to the window. There, my cat Cloud, was clawing at the window. I slid of the bed and turned to face a wistful-looking Rayleigh.

"Thank you." I said, my throat dry, unable to find any more words to describe what I had thank her for.

She smiled. "If you need anything… you know you can come to me."

"Why are you so nice again?"

"I had to compensate for all the inhumane experiments I helped Hojo with. I'm not going to hide it but I did partake in cloning Sephiroth."

I stiffened at the news. Rayleigh looked wholly guilty. "I'm sorry… if either you or your brothers need help…"

"I know." I said. "We'll come."

She clasped my hands. "Good luck." And she smiled.

I pushed the window open, strapped my katana to my back, scooped up my cat and jumped out of the window without looking back.

I wanted to stop forming bonds that will only make it hard for me to sever when the time comes.

And yet…

_Denzel's and Marlene's grins, Tifa's and Rayleigh's smiles, Cloud's eyes and his small smile_—I don't think I really regret ever seeing them. Then there were my brothers whom I had to part with too, very soon now. I wouldn't see their tears, smiles and moves again.

…I couldn't stop getting attached could I?

It hurts.

**xXx**


	9. Missing

**To Be Human**

**xXx**

**Interlude: Case of Sephiroth I**

**xXx**

I thanked Rayleigh mentally a thousand times over.

If it wasn't for the snow coat she'd given me, I would've been a block of ice cube already. The Mako in my body helped too. Cloud, my cat, was faring quite well too; after falling into Lifestream I was surprised it still looked like a normal house cat.

Though I had to cradle the cat in my arms because it had deemed it too cold to walk.

I glanced up to see any signs of my brothers though I kept my mental link with them open just in case one of them tried to track me down. It was useless to consult the map now, I couldn't see anything through the blizzard and what might be worse, the map would be torn.

I shivered, already close to my limit. I had to find somewhere to rest or else I'll die of cold here or something. Just as my teeth started to chatter as a warning of impending unconsciousness, the familiar sounds of blades chopping of a helicopter reached my ears. Through the blizzard, they couldn't possible see me but I can see them—a black spot in the grey snowy sky.

The Turks will lead me to my brothers. With that thought, it renewed my energy. I sprang to my feet and started running, adrenaline and Mako mixing together to burn away the cold and gave me energy. My urge for Reunion was so powerful I didn't even have to stop and think which way I should be going.

A familiar bulky figure came into view first.

"Loz!"

My oldest brother turned so quickly he nearly tripped. He was the only one outside, which meant that he was lookout. He grinned widely when he saw me, abandoning his post and running towards me. He reached me first of course, with his superior speed and all; he swoop me up into his arms and a bone-crushing hug. I laughed, wrapping my arms around his neck as tightly as I can. Now that I remember, ever since Kadaj had thrown my cat into the sky, I hadn't the chance to see him again.

"Loz?" That was Yazoo's voice, gentle and quiet, inquiring. "What're you doing?" he asked chidingly, seemingly ready to scold Loz for abandoning his post when my bulky brother grabbed me and presented me to Yazoo, dangling me in his arms. I was too ecstatic to feel insulted.

Yazoo only seemed momentarily stunned before he stored it away behind his façade of serenity. A small smile tugged at his lips. "Come on, Kadaj is inside—" My older brother didn't get the chance to finish the sentence—not to me anyway—because he was forced to dodge a round of tiny things splattering the snowy ground.

Gunshots—the Turks were here.

Loz tucked me securely under one arm and easily dodged the rest of the bullets, making his way behind Yazoo back to the cave. Kadaj greeted us there; his cat-like eyes darted to me first, assessing me and I thought his eyes softened for a moment.

"Not the time for a happy reunion, is it?" I remarked off handedly, prompting a few smiles. The moment I said it, I knew it was true and I felt bitter resentment towards the Turks for ruining this moment for us. "Shall we crush them?"

"They have Mother!" Kadaj cried, conflicted between letting them live for information or killing them for hiding her from us in the first place.

I squinted up the helicopter, seeming to my brothers to be assessing the approaching enemies but in truth, I was trying to recall how many Turks were supposed to be there on the copter. I tapped my chin in thought. "Hmm…"

"Do you have a plan, sister?" Loz asked, not yet letting me on the ground.

"Half-half. We'll kill half of them and keep the half of them."

"How can you be so sure there's more than one?"

I rolled my eyes. "They're going to be fighting against us, such a dangerous mission for them. They won't just send one."

"Sister's right," Kadaj interrupted, stepping forward and gazing up at where a man's black hair billowed in the wind. Tseng and Elena again. The blonde woman was the first to shoot at us.

Loz didn't let me go and since his speed was the greatest of us all, I wasn't planning on getting off him anytime soon.

The two jumped off—along with a handful of other Turks—and Loz looked ready to charge them, but I placed my hand on his chest. "Don't move. Let our brothers deal with them." I said, squinting to see through the snowstorm.

Loz whined. "But I want to play!"

"Not now," I grunted, lurching forward and was running soon enough. "Don't come until I call you!"

I didn't hear Loz's answer as I plunged into battle. I dodged the blows and punched a few but the rebounded back just as quickly. I growled, I have no time for this shit. I turned and ducked again, running towards the red-haired Turk—Reno, his comrade called him—who had Mother in his arms. Kadaj and Yazoo were fighting their way there too and Loz was already busy with those Turks that had spotted him. It was up to me to get it since my way was quite clear—evidently, no one saw how a girl can defeat a Turk, a male no less. Sexist.

Reno somehow heard me approaching him through the sounds of battle. Red colored both us, red from the blood of his comrades but he didn't even stop to mourn or balk. He cursed, I heard him through our noisy surroundings, and hurried up. He clambered up the ladder, yelling for reinforcements.

Tseng and Elena suddenly materialized before me.

I swallowed, these two individuals were powerful and I'm just me. A normal girl from Earth; how am I supposed to defeat them?

_You're Katja_, for the first time in months Mother whispered in my head, sounding louder and clearer than usual. _You're my daughter, you can do this_.

My katana flew to my hands and I was deflecting their bullets, watching in morbid fascination as they ricocheted off my sword and onto the ground. I glanced up desperately and just in time for Reno to stuck his tongue out at me and Kadaj.

My brother howled in anger, lunging, regardless of the obstacles.

Elena saw, took aim and shoot. Once was enough because it had automatic features, shooting a few bullets the same time.

Blood splattered my vision. My breath hitched as I saw Kadaj's face—

And I crumpled to the ground, pain blossoming from my chest and upper part of my body.

"Don't… don't…" I rasped. "…be so hasty, Kadaj." I whimpered silently, clutching my bleeding wounds and cursing myself and Kadaj for being so reckless and stupid.

Kadaj stopped mouth agape as he stared down at me. Then he glanced up at Tseng and Elena—both stunned but not sympathetic—then at me. "Katja…I…" He was terrible at apologizing so he did the only thing he could do to make up for his mistake. Take it all out on the person who inflicted the injury. "Yazoo—Loz—_Get them_!" His roar of fury sent chills down my body and it wasn't just because of the cold.

Tseng and Elena started to retreat, scrambling backwards and towards the helicopter but Yazoo and Loz were faster. They pounced on the Turks like white tigers in the snow baring down their teeth on the humans' neck.

Kadaj hovered over me uncertainly. "Katja…"

The snowstorm beating against me and Kadaj murmuring my name over and over lulled me into the darkness. I don't think a short nap will be able to heal my wounds this time because none of my brothers are natural healers and I don't have the best regeneration skill.

I will most likely need about a week or at best, a good five days like when I was poisoned with Mako.

A week… a week before I see Cloud again?

It had only been three days at most but I want to see him again.

Darkness behind my closed eyelids exploded into sterile colors of cold white, like the snow I was laying upon before Kadaj picked me up. But that was in the outside world and here…

_I look at my cell door, silently wondering when he'll come back. It had been three weeks and he usually visited at least once a week, bringing gifts such as sketch books or storybooks or the occasional snacks or pictures he'd captured of the outside world—_

_But that is not to say I am greedy; far from it actually. I merely treasured and yearned for more of those things I've been deprived of._

_Again, I wonder where Professor Gast had gone to. Will he come back? He won't leave me alone here with that lunatic – sorry, Hojo, will he?_

_The white doors slid open and I glance up silently, hopes drooping when the person that had stepped in is Professor Hojo and not Professor Gast. I held Hojo in a way any other child might herald a dentist but this was a much more special brand of dislike._

_I barely refrain from scowling because Hojo says this is unbecoming of a General. I don't know what was that supposed to mean to me. General of a military? Sure I can hold my own in a fight, can disarm Turks and defeat them now, but I don't think I'll be leaving this hellhole anytime soon._

_And without Professor Gast to allow me to leave, I see leaving as unlikely._

_My prison here strangely reminds me of that rather girlish story, Rapunzel. Haha. Very funny. As if I had a prince waiting for me outside here. My hair isn't that long either, and this lab is way below ground, not above like Rapunzel's prison._

_But one can dream._

_Dreaming; something Hojo says not to do because we live in a world of reality and science. Dreams are for delusional fools, to quote Hojo anyway._

_I remain silent even as Hojo starts to mutter something to himself._

"_Boy," Hojo-crazy-not-liked says sharply, demanding my attention which I reluctantly gives, still maintaining that mask of politeness. "We are leaving."_

_I must have heard wrong. "What? I mean, what about Professor Gast?"_

_Hojo's eyes glint coldly when he says with mad glee, "He is not coming back. He abandoned this project and left with that Ancient. He left you in my care." His eyes narrow, snapping his fingers, he steps backwards and three Turks come in. "Pack up your things and leave those stupid things he'd gave you. A future general needs no such frivolous things."_

_I try to resist but of course, it's futile. Disobeying means more time spent in the Mako tanks and even more experiments. I let my fingers slide away from the pages of the storybook. I gaze up at the Turk that takes it away, he's younger than most Turks who are all in their thirties, but he's already doing such a cruel murderous job. I wonder how he takes it and why he does it in the first place. I had tried speaking to him a few times but he's silent and never answers. He's worse than me on a bad day._

_Then, to my surprise, the blonde haired Turk—who his comrades call Strife but he never answers it when I called—slides my book into his jacket, picking a few other thinner and easier to hide books and doing the same. He does so without anyone but me to see it and I'm silently gratefully that he's smuggling my belongings to me._

_To have people smuggling things for me…I think I'm the first person on Gaia who wants people to steal their stuff._

_As if left my sterile room, I catch the last glimpse of the man, promising myself to not forget all the times he's helped me (I'm now holding my storybooks and what's little left of my sweets in a folder under the pretense of holding an important document and hopefully Hojo or any other scientist doesn't demands to see what sort of document). I'm sure I won't forget him._

_I mean, who forgets someone who has chocobo hair and blue eyes like the sea I crave to see in person someday?_

_I have already left the labs in Nilbeheim but I'm already missing the kind Turk who's staying back to clean up the place of our stay there, and Professor Gast who Hojo says will never be coming back._

_So is this what Professor Gast meant. The human emotion, the painful feeling that's tugging my heartstrings…_

_So, I muse to myself, this is missing someone._

_Now why would I miss someone? I'd ask Gast once, when I read about this special and seemingly painful emotion. He said that it's because you want to see that someone you love again._

_Now that I'm experiencing that first hand, I don't think it's such a bad thing to feel._

_This emotion they call missing… it's proof that you love someone and wants them back again._

_That thought almost makes the pain in my comfortable because I know now for sure, I love Professor Gast because he's like the dad I'd never had and Hojo who claims such but never played the role._

_Almost because missing someone is still a terrible feeling._

Do you miss him?

_A lot._

**xXx**

* * *

AN

I included Sephiroth's thoughts for character development. Tell me your thoughts!


	10. Hating

**To Be Human**

**xXx**

**Interlude: Case of Sephiroth II**

**xXx**

* * *

Rending, searing pain.

That was what ripped me from the depths of the void I had so thankfully been lost within. My eyes flew open, and I could't help the agonized cry that passed my lips. Instinctively, my mind warned me of danger and I tried to struggle away.

"Stop it, Katja!"

How did this person know my name, whoever he is—Oh. My vision was suddenly filled with green and white, and I stopped struggling to get away from the source of the pain once I realized it was Kadaj, crouched over me, his pale hair falling like a curtain around us; his hair brushed over my bare skin and it was as smooth as the rivers and silk.

My brother scowled down at me, displeased. He withdrew his hand abruptly, and it came glistening under the artificial light cast by the flimsy light of the bulb above us. It was covered in blood, I blinked languidly before I realized it was my blood. My brain took in everything lethargically and I was glad for it because if it had been rushing to send me impulses, I would've died of the pain.

"I'm trying to help you," Kadaj said in an irritated tone. "Be still."

I nodded. "How..." I swallowed through my dry throat, trying to wet it with saliva and soothe it; it didn't work as well as I'd hoped. "How many—"

"Four more." My brother said, his tone flat and not sympathetic at all.

When his fingers, bare of his leather gloves for once, brushed the hole where the bullet was lodged, I shrank back. By pure instinct, the pain was crazy. I knew instantly that this wound was worse than any other wounds I'd suffered. I whimpered when Kadaj pulled me back, straddling me to prevent anymore movement on my part. Lightning quick, his fingers dug into a place right below my right breast, prodding and searching for something.

He pulled it out with a very sickening sluicing sound. "Does it hurt that bad?" he asked innocently.

I gritted my teeth to hold back the scream as he prodded another bullet wound; if this bastard was happy I'm that injured... "Yes." I spat, my back arching to get the damn fingers away from the searing— "Gah!"

"Stop moving!" Kadaj snarled, batting my hands away from clawing his eyes out of their sockets.

He proceeded to dig the other bullet out and his roughness this time was deliberate, I knew it. I glowered at him but he smiled down at me innocently. Another reason why I missed Cloud; when he'd been treating my wounds after the spar, he had been gentle unlike these brothers who only inflicted pain and less-than-good treatment on their poor wounded sister who chose to take the blow for them and—

"Fuck," I howled in pain, arching my back again, nearly throwing Kadaj off me. "Gentler, stupid!"

"You're yowling like a bitch in heat." His fingers curled within me and he deliberately, slowly, pull the bullet out.

_Die_die_**die**die_—"You'll pay for this someday," I promised through gritted teeth as Kadaj mindlessly flung the bullet he'd mined from my body into the wall. And from beyond the very same wall, a scream tore through, followed by another howl. "What...?"

"Did you just notice now, sister?" Kadaj caressed my ear. "It's been going on for a very long time and had been such music to my ears."

I shivered. "Who—"

"The blonde bitch who tore through your body with bullets."

"You're giving her the same treatment?" I asked, my heartbeat fluttering in some pleasure that someone was paying for my pain.

"Much more worse," my brother promised, smiling still. "Tens and thousands times worse than your wounds." His fingers drifted down to my chest. I flinched and he chuckled. "No, they're all out... I think. Do you feel anything foreign in your body?"

I grunted. "Nothing anymore. Since when did you become the group's medic?" I tried to keep the conversation going to avoid thinking of the pain. The terrible sensation was still there, acute and pulsing, but I was relieved all the same.

"Since you got yourself injured," His cat-like eyes flashed with anger as his grip on my arms tightened. "Why did you jump in front of the line of fire? I could've dodged it!"

Right. I was stupid to have thought he needed help. I sighed. "I don't regret it. I'd hate to even imagine the chances of anyone of you being injured."

"Is it because I'm your favorite brother?" he grinned.

Blue eyes, so unlike our own, gentle and kind though hardened. Gold unlike our silver. I swallowed, pushing away the thought of Cloud a little too late because Kadaj had already picked up on him. "You've met him?" he hissed. 'You've met our traitor Nii-san? Tell me, where is he? Everything I need to know!"

I had no choice. Cloud was on a different side and Kadaj was my brother more than he was. So I spilled the beans, I hoped he didn't know of my nostalgic feelings for Cloud. He buried his face in my chest once I'd finished. His shoulders shook and I wondered what was wrong with him to be crying just at the mention of Cloud. I blinked when I realized he wasn't crying, quite the contrary actually.

He threw his head back and laughed like a lunatic.

I coughed, hiding my incredulous smile at my own thought, realizing that he had always been one crazy fruitcake.

Kadaj grinned ferociously. "Finally, a lead on mother!" I didn't see how that was a lead to mother at all but before I could point this out, he reached forward and planted a kiss on my lips which lasted about a few seconds before the door slammed open. I was already recoiling but Kadaj didn't react as greatly as I did.

He licked his lips. "What is it, Loz?"

My oldest brother glanced between us, confused. "Huh, it's your turn."

"Yes," Kadaj actually cheered, seemingly unaffected by what he just did. He turned to me and smiled. "I'm going to make them suffer, we're all going to. When you've recovered, why don't you come join us?" He practically skipped towards the door, leaving me and Loz to gawk at our few-screws-loose brother. Before he disappeared behind the door, he said, "You tasted like blood and strawberry, sis."

"You have strawberry?" Loz asked eagerly, totally missing the real point.

I shot him a glare and he recoiled. "What happened?" he asked timidly.

"Your brother is really crazy," I said, finally, brushing my lips.

Loz remained baffled.

**xXx**

_The cup of coffee fall out of my hands, crashing to the concrete floor but I pay it no mind. The stranger pulls back and blue, blue eyes framed and nearly covered by auburn hair come into view. My jaw is slack, I'm sure, but I can barely think when the strange tingling sensation burns in my stomach and my cheeks feel hot._

_From embarrassment. I scowl, eyes narrow into a glare when the crowd that had gathered started laughing at my expense._

_The auburn-haired boy before me smirks. "Feels good?" he says teasingly, flirtatiously. _

_"Bastard!" My fist connect with his face and I feel no remorse when his nose cracks under my fist. Seething, I push through the crowd and storm off, back to my new quarters._

_I don't like Shin-Ra and its people a single bit. Hojo's lab is almost better than the bullies and strangers here. They all insist on touching my skin and pulling my face, accusing me of being a girl. I seethe when I recall the auburn-haired boy but I close my eyes, convincing myself that he doesn't matter._

_He's almost as lanky as me, if not, thinner. All sticks and bones, I doubt he'll make it past the tests._

_I don't see the auburn-haired boy and his best friend, black-haired and a big guy (must be the reason why no one bullies them both) until a few weeks later where the SOLDIER exams swing by._

_As expected, I'd seen it coming years ago, I passed._

_What I don't expect is the auburn-haired boy and his friend's presence. I don't expect us to be bunked together. I stiffen, knowing that ir'll be hell with them, they'll be bullying me and pulling my leg until I ascend into another—_

_The black-haired guy sees me first and unexpectedly, he gives an easy-going grin. But I'm no fool, I don't let my guard down. I keep my face blank and stare at them suspiciously. The big guy sees this first and he smiles apologetically. _

_"About the other day, sorry, it was just a stupid dare," he says, extending his hand towards me. "Nice to meet you, I'm Angeal Hewley and the guy in the toilet is my friend, Genesis Rhapsodos. Gen—get out here and apologize!"_

_Grumbling and huffing, the boy stalks out of the bathroom and scrutinizes me, as if he's having trouble remembering my face. "Oh," he says. "__When the war of the beasts brings about the world's end / __The goddess descends from the sky," he extends a dramatic hand and a charming smile. "My name is Genesis, I believe your name is Sephiroth?"_

_I nod numbly, taking and shaking his hand, wondering what the poetic lines before meant._

_He smiles when he sees my expression, drawing out a book from his bag and settling himself on one of the beds. "Hm, let's see..."_

_I turn to Angeal for some guidance. I know a lot, am very smart but human interaction baffles me sometimes. I mean, why would friends cuss one another and slap one another. Why would they still want to be friends with someone so abusive? The big guy laughs, his blue eyes sparkling like the sea I wish to see someday. His eyes reminds me of Strife, the kind but somber Turk and for that, I take an immediate liking to him._

_"Don't worry about Gen," says Angeal, chuckling with mirth. "He's always like this. He described you as goddess of his favorite book. He likes you. A lot." He adds somewhat sullenly at the end there._

_I wonder is this what people call jealousy. If so, I don't mean to make him feel that way. He's been friends longer with Genesis and I don't plan nor do I mind not having friends. I voice this thought but Angeal laughs and ruffles my hair._

_Days pass, weeks fly by, months come and go and soon, I am already a First. Genesis and Angeal can be considered my friend. Angeal's cool by my standards but Genesis is very... destructive._

_When I make Second first, he throws a tantrum because he fails and Angeal also passes._

_I really don't understand this feeling they call jealousy._

_But I feel it, when I, by chance, spot Angeal and Genesis together, doing what people call making out._

_My jaw drop and when I stumble, I make the mistake of sound. We stare at one another awkwardly, not knowing how to react but I know I was intruding so I run first._

_The feeling doesn't fade. I avoid them as best as I can, sometimes taking the pains of hiding in the labs where they will never think I'll go because I made it pretty clear I hate that place._

_When they stumble upon me during one of the Mako injections, I know I can't run. I remain frozen, stuck in place, wondering what I should do. Think, I tell myself, what would Strife do? Such a stoic man, he'll just brush it off._

_And I do, I turn and brush past them but Genesis is persistent, he turns and grabs my arm. "Hey!" he yells loud enough for the people in the hallway to turn our way. "I know we've been keeping secrets but that doesn't mean we're not your friends!"_

_I stiffen, turning, and feeling something warm in my chest because this is the first time someone tells me I'm their friend and they mine. "I... didn't say that." _I don't want to lose you_. "I... I actually have secrets too."_

_"Does it have anything to do with the labs, scientists and the odd tattoo on your arm?"_

_I clear my throat awkwardly, knowing neither of them buy the lie of 'my determination to be First Class made me burn a tattoo permanently there' and I'm in for a serious explaining._

_"Yes," I say and I spill the beans, telling them everything; from my birth, to my early life and status as an experiment._

_And when I await their judgement, their sure disgust on their face to be faced with something less-than-human____—Angeal and Genesis laugh, clasping my hands and telling me how silly I was._

___For the first time, a sincere and genuine smile curl my lips. _

___We're in a simulation room only for SOLDIERs and Angeal and Genesis are showing me their hometown. The leaves fall all around us and some Banora Whites fall here and there and the day can't be any more prettier._

___Genesis leans forward and presses his lips against mine, reenacting how we'd met. This time, I don't punch him. I kick him in his family jewels instead, smiling slightly as he howls in pain and curses me._

___The spar and fight that ensues is completely expected._

He stared up at me, his cat-like eyes sad and somber as we experienced things all over again. I remained silent, watching him then I turned back to the flying memories. I stretched out a hand and touched the one glowing with hate and hurt.

**_Betrayal._**

Genesis, how could you?

Angeal, why did you leave?

Zack, are you leaving me too?

Cloud, why when all I want is Mother?

**_Hate. Hurt._**

_"It doesn't matter what I really am in the end... because, Genesis, you. will. rot."_

_i say this coldly, not a single emotion in it, not the contempt, hate and hurt, and left. I hear Zack scrambling to follow me, hovering about me in concern. Once, in my younger days when my heart is still open to trust and friends, I would've been touched but now, all I feel is detachment. _

_The awe the people shower me with would've flattered me once but this time it's meaningless to me. I ignore them all and make my way to the Shin-Ra mansion. I remember this place now, my hometown. I smile humorlessly as I descend the stairs to the basement and go around, flipping this book and that, gathering the important documents and origins of me and start to read._

_The voice keeps echoing in my head, whispering soothing promises of how things will be okay if I give in. A warm feeling shrouds me, like a mother's embrace and I know that instant that she's the only one I want to see. She's my mother, she must love me, she must be the only in this rotten and forsaken world that wants me for me, she'll never betray me, she won't, she can't__—_

_I stand, my mind made up. "I'm coming," I say despite the small voice in my head asking me to think again and again about my choice. "Mother. I'll free you and we'll be together again."_

For an again, there must be a before. Have you even met her?

_They make me feel pain, hurting and they don't care, I hate them. I hate them all. They don't deserve to live. But they're comrades and friends at one point, so maybe I'll spare them. But not Cloud, not that boy. He's trying to stop me from meeting Mother! How can he? I hissed in pain, sliding down to the ground, unable to stand on my feet._

_Mother screams in my ear, urging me to stand and take revenge. _

_I do as told because Mother's wishes must be obeyed. I descend the stairs again and crept up the blonde boy. I raise Masamune__—is she truly the only who's been by my side all along? _That's just so sad_____—and strike. My sword slice through skin and catch his ribcage. He's in pain but he can stand it._

_____He glares at me, full of hate and in his eyes, I see myself; I am hurting, I'm full of hate too._

_____We're both so alike, somber and lonely and hateful. _

_____"Why don't you join me?" I offer, twisting my sword painfully. "We can be brothers."_

_____"Fuck you!" he yells, his hands clutching Masamune's edge, uncaring of how it cuts into his skin and how he's bleeding like Zack is at the stairs. "I'll never join you!" And suddenly, he pulls and pulls and I find my feet off the ground._

_____"Impossible," I murmur but before I can react, through the foggy haze and Mother's screams and this other girl's voice, the cadet flings me into a machine and electricity momentarily disables me, stunning me. _

_____And the rest I can recall is falling into deep green liquid._

_____And then I surface and now, I'm moving, killing as is the purpose of my creation, and I'm relishing every death._

_____Why can they laugh and have normal lives while I can't? Not fair. Unfair. Masamune, faithful companion of mine, accompanies me with her song of death. We are like Charon and his boat, spiriting the dead to the Underworld, Masamune and I. I laugh, I know Mother is partially controlling me, bringing me to continent and continent which I have no idea why I should be there._

_____I know she's using me but I don't care._

_____I just don't care anymore. Not anything, and certainly not this world._

Hating everything, does it make you happy?

_Yes._

Then so be it.

**xXx**

* * *

Review, yeah. Oh, right, there will be Remnantcest here and some shonen-ai but don't mind it much.

Can anyone guess who's Sephiroth talking too? And can anyone pick up the subtle clue in here?


	11. Aching

**To Be Human**

**xXx**

**Advent Children: No More Games**

** xXx**

* * *

His hate, his pain, his feelings, his memories poured through me, tore through the fine line between death and love and life and hate to reach me. I wonder why he wanted me to experience it specifically. I may wonder but I know that Sephiroth was warning me in his own weird way.

My... fondness for Cloud.

Sephiroth was telling me to control it, to beware of it. Because with my feelings, Cloud had the ability to hurt me. What puzzled me was why would Sephiroth care? I sighed heavily, choosing to ignore it. I turned my head, cheek still pressed on the pillow, and realized that sunlight was streaming in through the cabin's high window and neither of my brothers were here.

I flung the covers off me and got to my feet.

I was pleasantly surprised when my wounds didn't hurt as much. I winced here and there as I stumbled into a plain white shirt that reminded me of hospital gown and stumbled out of the door.

The wooden cabin was deathly silent though I could hear my own heartbeat and the heartbeats of a few others. I turned right, out of curiosity, and gently pushed open the door.

Three heartbeats were here and all were familiar_—_

An inhuman shriek tore through the air. I stopped before I could push open the door fully. I blanched when I realized what was taking place behind the door. I gently, silently closed the wooden door again though I doubt I need to hide the sound since Elena's screams covered it all up.

The scent of blood clung to me. I wasn't queasy about blood nor do I care about what people looked like but I could sense Kadaj in there and whenever that fruitloop wanted to show the world his artistic abilities, it would be hard to stomach. My hunger from before completely disappeared as, from Kadaj's and Sephiroth's memories, tortures done to them and they to others surfaced. I knew I had inherited their sadistic streak too but I merely take joy out of their minor pain and embarrassment, not their torture. I'm not that cruel.

My cat meowed at me and I'm suddenly reminded of Cloud again. The blonde warrior hated seeing anyone suffering and he would even sacrifice himself for total strangers if it meant their suffering stop. What would he do in this situation, I wonder?

I shook my head, trying to clear things. "Sister." I turned to face Yazoo. His face remained blank but I could tell he was trying hard not to frown. "What are you doing moving around?"

"I feel fine."

My brother arched a brow as if asking _are you serious_. He gestured to my shirt and I looked down; I balked at the sheer amount of blood. How can I not feel anything? Wait, didn't Kadaj had the sort of ability to draw pain away? I was thankful for him but he could've warned me first. They say pain tells you the extent of your limits, I suppose that's not a lie.

"Ow..." Obviously, Sephiroth didn't pass me his endurance and regeneration ability. "Yaz..."

"You are _so_ sleeping one week straight."

That didn't sound too bad except that I couldn't see someone.

**xXx**

_Wake up. Now._

My eyes snapped open, following the command; crimson cloaked my vision—"Sister! Run!" Loz? What?

I didn't have time to ponder because a clawed hand grabbed my arm. I hissed in pain but I wrenched it away and rolled out of the bed into a defensive position. I assessed the danger; Vincent Valentine with our captive Turks slung in his other arm like sacks of potatoes.

"You look so much like her..." the man murmured, blinking as if trying to drive away the haze of memories that had settled.

"What do you want?" I spat, glancing at the door and silently hoping Loz would just kick the door already. Where's Kadaj and Yazoo?

"I have orders to bring you back with me."

"From who?" Valentine-jerk didn't answer, merely, he advanced. "Loz, just kick the damn wall down!" Three things happened at once: I jerked back, Valentine lunged and the slab of wall flew into the wall. I spat dust and brushed my disheveled hair out of my eyes, scanning the damage done.

Footsteps pounded as someone threw open the front door to our temporary house. Vincent's face remained impassive but he must've decided that grabbing me was a lost cause and there was the casualty to take care of. I'm sure he didn't fancy fighting three remnants. Right, just go on and ignore me. Very weak after all.

"Sister," Loz's grumbling, baritone voice that sounded so cranky all the time belied how childish and harmless—to us anyway, I'm sure our enemies don't share the same sentiment—he was. "Are you okay?"

"She's not." Yazoo remarked, stepping forward to inspect my wounds, reopened due to moving so suddenly.

"No more games, sister, that's the final straw."

"We'll crush those who dare to touch one of us."

**xXx**

Kadaj didn't look happy. Scowling, he kicked the Buster Sword lodged deeply into the earth by the cliff. The sword didn't stand a chance, it spiraled and landed a few feet away, no longer upright.

_Angeal would be sad_, I had the sudden thought. But I didn't move to put it back in place because friend or no friend, Angeal had abandoned Sephiroth. I stared apathetically at the horizon, wondering what my existence here in this world had done other than cause trouble for Kadaj and his gang. I was considerably weak compared to them and they seemed fine without my help.

_Incomplete_, Jenova's—ah, wrong—Mother's voice murmured in my mind. _Without you he's incomplete; twins, without one the other lack._

I, personally, don't think Kadaj lacked anything but his sanity. But I doubted anyone in this world would ever consider me sane. Somehow, I don't think that's what Jenova had meant.

"Ah, there's Nii-san, you were right, sister!" Kadaj's excited voice reached my ears, pulling me out of my reverie.

"Hm," I grunted, unenthusiastic which drew my brothers' attention.

"You're starting to act like Yazoo," Loz commented. "Not fun."

"Better than a crying, slobbering mess like you," Yazoo shot back.

"Stop it," I stressed, turning to Kadaj who was gazing down at where Cloud was racing through the rough terrains with his Fenrir. Even from afar, I can see the damn bike shine like a thousand jewels; Cloud must've polished her every single day. Even Sephiroth wasn't this obsess with Masamune. "Kadaj," I chucked Tseng's phone already dialing Rufus Shinra's number at my brother who caught it easily.

He placed it to his right ear, motioning with his other hand towards Cloud.

I ruffled my own hair, messing it up as much as possible before straddling Loz's bike, settling myself behind him because if I sat behind Yazoo, I'd only be eating his hair. He smirked at me as if sensing my thoughts.

"Broom, broom!" Loz mimicking the sound of the bike's engine was the only indication I got before he shot off. I spat dust out of my mouth and the harsh winds tore at my face, but for some reason, I could see once my vision adjusted.

I drew Velvet Nightmare, aiming and shooting.

Cloud dodged it on his bike, half-turning to see us; I shrank back slightly behind Loz's large build, hoping he hadn't seen me but even I knew it was futile. "Sister, is something wrong?" Loz craned his neck to look at me, concerned.

"Nah, nothing." I said, I turned to look at Kadaj, seeing him too absorbed in his conversation with the President to notice me. "Tsk." I raised my hand and concentrated, calling on the power of the Lifestream and from the ground, creatures of the black Lifestream, creatures that were once humans, burst forth and lunged at Cloud.

He had drawn his sword and was deflecting blow after blow from the Shadow Creepers and Yazoo. Loz stepped on it, speeding up so that he was on par with Cloud which was a terrible idea; Yazoo was also close by and Cloud was turning his head to look at us—

I drew Souba—half of it anyway, I got the blade that had a black ribbon tied to it—and jumped, slicing down into a cutting arc. Fortunately, the momentum didn't carry me too far away from one of my brother's bike and I landed safely behind Yazoo. I spat his hair out of my mouth. "Tie it up, damn it!"

"Shut up," Yazoo muttered darkly, sweeping his long hair to the front but the winds blew it all back and into my face. I cursed, bringing half-of-Souba down to meet Cloud's blow. The sheer impact jarred me but I held on and Yazoo came to my rescue soon enough.

Velvet Nightmare's howls were heard throughout the canyon and resounded nicely with the sounds the Shadow Creepers made.

Yazoo cursed as his shots glanced off Cloud who was now concentrating on Loz. "Handle the bike," he said and in a moment, he was gone.

"Wha—Whoa! Damn it, Yaz!" I jerked forward, hands on the handle and carefully swerving it to the side before it could connect with a jagged rock. I turned just in time to see Yazoo shoot Cloud in the face, close-ranged. My jaw dropped as a Shadow Creeper lunged and swiped at Cloud.

A part of First Tsurugi went flying into the horizon.

Fortunately for me, Sephiroth was also somewhat of a bike maniac and whatever useful skills he had, he passed it on to us. I managed the bike well even though I'd never handled one in my whole life (previous and now) until now. "Yazoo," I spat. "The bike. Now."

We slowed down enough for Yazoo to jump on and I was barely able to lock myself onto the bike before he zoomed off after Cloud. I hissed through gritted teeth; the Shadow Creepers had already gotten to Cloud. I watched with my mouth ajar as the Shadow Creepers buried Cloud. When the last of his blonde spikes disappeared underneath, I slumped onto Yazoo's back.

I may have an interest in Cloud but the feeling was not enough to rival my feelings for my brothers and Mother and perhaps, Sephiroth.

A purr of satisfaction echoed in my mind at the thought of the latter two.

Just as I was sure the Shadow Creepers were working away at Cloud's intestines, they disappeared in a flurry of black mists and shadows, dissolving into the ground and I knew it was Kadaj's signal. "Let's go," I murmured and my brothers ceded, pulling back and swerving around towards where Kadaj awaited us.

I glanced down just as we landed on the cliff by Kadaj's side.

I felt Cloud's blue eyes bore into me even as we sped away; the emotions I'm not used to in his eyes...

Ah, my chest aches somewhat.

**xXx**


	12. Dreaming

**To Be Human**

**xXx**

**Humanity**

** xXx**

* * *

"Sister," I turned to face Kadaj, feeling wary because his tone was dangerous and all of us knew not to mess with Kadaj when he was in one of those moods. Thus far, we had managed to escape severe beating but the occasional smacks-hard-enough to send us eating dirt (including Loz) was unavoidable.

Warily, wearily, "Yeah?" came from me and Kadaj frowned even further.

"Come with me," He said, motioning to his bike and walking towards it. I glanced back and saw Yazoo smirking, waving _bye-bye_ mockingly, probably expecting me to be beaten up by our brother. I scowled at him and had the childish urge to stuck my tongue out but that would be too childish. I bit it back and smiled bitingly back; _jerk, _he looked like a gentleman but his true personality...ugh. Girls in town who swooned over him must be blind.

I straddled the bike, sitting behind Kadaj and expertly staying on—after countless experiences of near tumbles and nightmares doing so and ending up dead—despite not holding onto Kadaj's back.

I blinked: _"You asked to warn you the next time you ride the bike with me,"_ Cloud's face was undecipherable most of the time but that time, I thought I saw him smirk, however faint. Why am I thinking about it? I got my answer when I saw Kadaj's shoulders tensed. Probing my mind? Cheater.

He hissed, "So you have that sort of feelings for him?"

I nearly recoiled—would have had there been any space behind me—at the sheer venom and zealous jealousy in his voice. My throat felt dry but I replied, "Not enough to rival my feelings for you." It proved to be the right thing to say because Kadaj relaxed more though I can still feel the scowl on his face.

"Oh, he isn't the only one," my brother said as he made a dangerous and careless swerve; I scowled when I felt his intentions of scaring me, he knew I didn't like this sort of speed. "There's our beloved oldest brother isn't there? Mother's favored one?"

"Sephiroth," I supplied automatically, feeling the strange need to make him known. I squash down the odd bubbly feeling and stared intently at Kadaj's back as he glowered at the zooming landscape. "Where are we going anyway? Healing Lodge? Shinra's there."

"Which way?" my brother asked with a long-suffering sigh.

I didn't know, I didn't have a map and I'd never been there before. I closed my eyes, resting my forehead against Kadaj's back and wrapping my arms around him. My senses, combined with his through physical touch, scanned the area. Rufus had Mother's head, I knew it. So if I simply just concentrated on her... "Northeast."

Kadaj didn't show any signs he'd heard me but I knew he did. "So you're on a first name basis with Nii-san and Aniki now is it?"

I assumed 'Aniki' was Sephiroth and Cloud was 'Nii-san'. "Sephiroth and Cloud _is_ their respective names," I bit out a bit forcefully and I instantly regretted it when I felt hurt emanating from Kadaj. "Why do you hate them so much?"

My brother's grip on the handlebars tightened and I worry that he'd snap them off in a fit of anger. My wounds haven't fully recovered and if we were to fall off, I doubt I can be of use in the upcoming battle. "Mother loves them, she loves Aniki from the very beginning and even though Nii-san betrayed us, she still loved him, how is that fair when she doesn't love us?"

"Where did you hear such a crap as she loves them more than us?"

What had Mother been _telling_ Kadaj?

"She's always telling us to find Nii-san and urging us to hurry for the Reunion so Aniki can come back!" When I heard Kadaj say this, I had the image of a young child sitting, cross-legged in a sterile lab—_when is the person I want to see coming back, never stopped wondering and waiting_. I blinked away the image, stealing a glance at Kadaj to see whether he was affected by it or not. Evidently not since he was still ranting his rage out.

"Perhaps it's because we're merely body of thoughts?" I tapped my fingers against Kadaj's leather covered back. "And Mother's asking to bring forth Reunion faster, isn't it because she wants to see us sooner?"

To my surprise, Kadaj laughed, long and bitter and hollow. The lilt of the laughter made my heart ached, imagining all the hurtful thoughts and theories he'd come up with for himself. With sudden clarity, I realized why Kadaj was angry when he knew how I felt about Cloud and how I cared about Sephiroth. He was scared I'd leave him and Yazoo and Loz would follow me as well.

Kadaj, brave swordsman and powerful little warrior, was scared of being abandoned. And somehow, he knew we were—and always will be just and never more than that—body of thoughts, just that and if Sephiroth chose to manifests himself from us, we'd be nothing but memories and thoughts, all joining Sephiroth as one, creating the man himself.

Kadaj knew, all along and he hadn't told us. Well, I'd known all along too and perhaps Yazoo had assumed something along the lines. Loz still remained blissfully unaware of how close we're to death. They say ignorance is bliss, true, too true... I wished I didn't have such foreknowledge.

I didn't say anything as we sped past the dry lands towards where Mother's head was.

I stared down at my hand, as I'd seen Kadaj doing more and more often in the past few days, and I suddenly knew why he'd keep doing so. Like I was doing now, he was wondering how real his body was. We were Sephiroth's will, his thoughts and memories, his illusions and how he perceives things gave birth to us. If Sephiroth suddenly lose faith, what will happen? I don't think we'll live to see that because by then, we'd have disintegrated either into the Lifestream or melted into mere memories without will within Sephiroth.

"It'll be okay," I said though it tasted all like lies and impossibility—though the latter wasn't that credible because here I am, a creature from another world in this world that was supposed to be just a game. I closed my eyes, wishing that I could be a human again and back home on Earth where love was so much more easy to earn and I wished that my brothers here could spend their lives there with me. Selfish and highly improbable. "When Reunion comes, we'll be reunited again." One way or another, just within Sephiroth and not being able to feel joy at our work.

I was not at all surprised when I reached up to touch Kadaj's face, they came down wet. I pitied him, in truth, he was merely an infant like Lionel (Rayleigh's kid) and shouldn't be here fighting a losing battle and for his Mother's love that might have never existed in the first place.

Who said you were a monster, Kadaj?

_Humanity...what makes a human and a monster anyway? Have you ever wondered?_

Before coming to this world, never.

_Do monsters cry?_

I suppose neither of us will ever know.

**xXx**

"I'll go in first," Kadaj declared, and without waiting for my answer, strode towards the front door first. I remain silent, watching his back for awhile before following, my footsteps silent as I ascended the stairs while Kadaj turned into black mist and slid in through the gap.

I wondered will I be able to do that. I closed my eyes, concentrating and imagining myself as a mist. The next thing I knew, I was blind. Not completely, my senses were clear and alert. I realized I had no eyes in this mist form, and it was taking my everything to keep myself together—if the mist were to dispersed, wouldn't that mean the lost of my limbs?

Yikes! With that thought in mind, I hurriedly drifted into the same gap Kadaj had went into. Fortunately, it didn't take much but to concentrate for a few seconds before I drifted back into myself. Shakily, I vowed to never to it again, the sensation was unpleasant and I hated it. Kadaj stared at me in mild surprise before he proceeded to knock out a bald-headed Turk.

"Yaah!" I turned, and my lips curled in distaste when I saw the red-haired Turk.

I sidestepped his blow, watching with mild interest as his nightstick sparked with electricity of quite high voltage. I grasped his wrist and twisted enough for him to release his weapon. When it loosened enough, I snatched it and whacked his head with it. It was like playing golf, when you hit the ball with your stick except that I didn't use enough strength to send Reno flying.

I huffed a laugh as he convulsed on the floor.

I turned, sweeping my bangs out of my hair to face Rufus Shinra as he wheeled himself out of the room.

"President," Kadaj and I greeted in unison though his voice was filled with more malice than mine. We shared an amused glance before we advanced on him. It was to Rufus' credit that he did not flinch. "What a pleasure to meet you."

"And you are... Kadaj, I presume?" Rufus inclined his head to Kadaj before he glanced at me; I couldn't see his expression but I was sure he looked mildly curious to see a girl who looked just like Sephiroth, hmm? "Who might you be, miss?"

"Katja. But let's cut to the chase, where's Mother?"

"Hand her over."

"I apologize," the President of Shinra said, sounding anything but such. My fingers twitched but I managed to keep my face blank of emotion. "But I do not understand what you're trying to imply."

"We know you have Mother, give her to us!" Kadaj snarled. "Or else...!" From the back of his pocket, he drew out two identification cards, bloodied, and threw it onto the ground before Rufus and gestured towards Reno and Rude; the message was clear enough and even though Rufus feigned confusion, he knew well enough.

The nightstick in my hand crackled with electricity as I swung it backwards without looking.

A loud _thud!_ told me I'd hit homer. I crossed my arms, and as expected, Rufus didn't even react. It was hard to tell what he was thinking with his face mostly obscured but I knew he wasn't intimidated. That was one thing I admired about this man: it was his bravery. "Hn," I grunted. "As expected."

_Show him._

_Yes_, I agreed mentally as I lunged, teeth bared into a snarl and whatever Rufus saw as heat spread through me, as I felt myself morphing and _this worthless creature before me dare to defy my words_—

The blonde man choked, the Geostigma visible on his right hand tingled and glowed, causing the man pain but he still had enough willpower to snarl back, "I don't have her! She's been delivered somewhere else!"

I pulled back, suddenly exhausted; what I did just now, was it a Limit Break? I turned to Kadaj and shook my head tiredly. The look on Kadaj's face was one of complete horror but he stalled it behind his mask quite well. He frowned for a moment, tilting his head to the side as if listening to someone say something before he nodded and took my hand, guiding me out of there.

I glanced back briefly and I thought I saw the faint lingering presence of him there.

My eyes widened when I felt it. "Hurry! Nii-san's here!"

Kadaj acquiesced my wish—had it been an order, he'd surely do the opposite of what I wanted—and together, hand in hand, we ran to our bike as another bike purred to a halt before Healing Lodge.

But I knew it was too late and with his enhanced vision had caught sight of us.

The single pounding of feet against ground created the urge for me to turn because I knew who it was.

But Kadaj pulled me on, if not for him, I would've stood there, frozen. I didn't turn to see him and even though I knew it had just been a week and a few more days at most, I still want to turn and see how much he'd changed—in such a short time measured by society, I doubt much but to me it seemed as if it had been years since I last saw him.

I stumbled, before climbing behind Kadaj. I rested my head against his back, taking comfort in his heat and heartbeat.

I saw Cloud's face painted behind my close eyelids but the image didn't do much justice to the actual face.

But I shouldn't complain much. He hadn't complain either when he was in a sorry situation.

_Dreaming... is all I can do._

**xXx**

* * *

AN

Was Kadaj too OOC? Well, I was trying to make him more human and to show his more vulnerable side. Did I manage to pull it off successfully? It was mostly for character development.


	13. Kidnapping

**To Be Human**

**XIII.**

* * *

I scrunched my nose up in disgust but stopped when I realized how undignified it was. Yazoo shot me an amused glance from where he was sitting at the driver's seat. He stepped on the breaks abruptly and the tires screeched from how it was abused. I scowled at Yazoo.

"Drive properly," I spat, throwing the door open and getting out, inhaling the 'fresh' air of Midgar before turning back to my brother, raising an eyebrow. "Well? What are you still doing in there?"

"Katja, dear, you don't expect me to go and persuade kids to join our crusade do you?" I frowned when Yazoo said that because that was exactly what he did in the movie. But then with my existence, things had changed greatly hadn't it? Cloud was supposed to reach Rufus first but somehow, Kadaj and I did. This shouldn't surprise me much but I really didn't know how to persuade kids. Who knows what they're thinking most of the time?

"_I_ have to do it alone?"

"Yes," said Yazoo mercilessly, rolling the window up before I can reply. He didn't forget to toss me Cat!Cloud before he did so.

I scowled but trudged off, placing the cat on her feet. I stared down at it. "Well? Go bring me kids with your...cuteness." I'd expected it to just meow stupidly but it actually darted off. I followed it at a slower pace, watching it curiously. The cat eventually led me to an alleyway filled with kids. None of them even glanced up at me, and from what I saw, almost all of them had Geostigma patches on their skin.

"Children...?" I asked hesitantly. Only a few glanced up at me but their eyes were glazed as if they couldn't quite see who was before them. "You're all ailing from Geostigma, right? My brothers and I have a cure for it."

"Really?" A young girl, no older than six looked up at me hopefully. "You'll rid us of this pain?"

"Yes, my brothers can heal you. They also know why you're suffering," I held out my hand. "Come with me." I hadn't expected it to work but with their eyes glazed, they stood and stumbled after me. "This way." I guided them like a shepard guiding their sheep towards the truck were Yazoo waited.

He raised an eyebrow but when I glared at him, he shrugged and proceeded to load the kids into the truck. I dragged a few coherent and healthier looking kids (didn't mean they weren't sick) and told them to scout for more kids like them. They nodded, still dazed and I was slightly unnerved to see their eyes while still their own color, were slits like my brothers and I.

I wonder... is that what make them so obedient to us? I shrugged, uncaring, it makes our job easier anyway.

I leaned against the truck, counting the number of kids, satisfied that more kids were drifting towards us and our quota were filling up. Just as Yazoo loaded up the last batch of kids, a familiar voice called out my name, followed by the fast and loud pounding of feet against pavement.

I turned in time just to get a handful of Denzel. I didn't stumble but Yazoo scowled at the child, looking ready to wrench him away from me.

"Denzel," I acknowledged, sending my older brother a warning look and patting the child's auburn hair. "Long time no see. I... missed you." It was the truth but I didn't think of him as much as I did Cloud and I felt guilty somewhat because the look on his face told me he'd been waiting to see me for far too long and he'd missed me just as I'd missed Cloud. Probably.

"Katja," the young boy murmured, a grin playing on his lips and his eyes were glistening. "When Cloud said you were never coming back, I thought the worst: that you'd... you'd succumbed to the stigma and—"

"She won't die," Yazoo spat, irked at the mere notion. "Get off her boy, and onto the truck." He turned to pick up a girl holding a moogle and nearly threw her onto the back of the truck. He crossed his arms, arching an eyebrow at the child in my arms. "Well?"

"Who's he?" Denzel asked in a failed attempt of a whisper—our enhanced hearing tend to pick things up not meant for us to hear. "Your older brother you're talking about? He looks nuts?"

Yazoo smirked faintly at being mentioned so. I coughed awkwardly at the malicious glint in my brother's eyes, man, the nutty one—in our eyes—was Kadaj and Yazoo, who was considered sane by me, to be compared to him? Laughable. "Yeah," I said, pushing Denzel towards my older brother. The boy resisted.

"Whoa, what?"

"Don't you want to be cured?" I squeezed his shoulders briefly, in assurance before Yazoo hauled him up by the collar and threw him into the back of the truck. I scowled at his rough treatment but after one last glance at Denzel I slid into shotgun seat. "Drive carefully this time. The kids might tumble off."

Did Yazoo listen?

Of course not.

**xXx**

"Ugh, Katja," Denzel moaned, a hand over his mouth as he swayed on his feet. "I don't feel good. Not at all."

I snickered. Okay, maybe I don't mind Yazoo tipping the children over the edge much at all. Not at all. Denzel moaned miserably, carsick and so did some of the other kids. But most of them were fine. "Come on," I murmured, my voice seeming loud in the silence of the Forest. "Just a little ways forward."

"Uh, miss?" I looked down to see the Moogle Girl, Denzel's friend, yes? I cocked an eyebrow, silent. "Are you really going to cure us?"

I nearly smiled. _No, we're using you all as human shields_; I don't know why but I felt thrilled at the prospect. Yazoo certainly didn't seem to mind, he may like his cleanliness but that didn't mean he hated getting blood on his hands or on his person. I supposed I was sort of the same. I suppressed the smile and nodded. The only death I'd mind would be Denzel's and Cloud would be sad, mad.

I wondered will Cloud hesitate if we were to cross swords. When it came to him, it was hard to tell. But if it meant for him to fight at full strength, without hesitation, then Denzel would be sacrificed.

_An eye for an eye_.

"Those are not for eating," Yazoo said coolly, from where we stood in a line behind Kadaj as he preached to the children about our illness, the reason we're suffering from it: because the Planet wanted us to feel pain, to discourage us from reaching Mother. I snorted then winced as I felt my own stigma throb. It was mild to someone like me but to those children, I knew it was torture. And sometimes, even for us, there were days where the pain was so overwhelming we could barely walk, much less fight.

If those sort of days happened to these kids, I had no problem understanding why they wanted to believe strangers so quickly and blindly, without asking any questions. Now, Denzel was a cautious kid and there was this one time, I had sneaked up on him and he noticed right away, he'd be a good SOLDIER—ha, wasn't my train of thoughts like a General? Ah, well, that didn't matter when the world ends and besides, the organization was as good as dead anyway, with Cloud as the last member.

Come to think of it, where is the rest of the SOLDIERs?

I blinked, suddenly realizing that I had no idea. Well, after Advent Children, there had been a sequel but I didn't play the game. But I doubted it'd matter to me, I brushed my hair out of my eyes, watching with narrowed eyes as from the distance, headlights zoomed towards us; not like we're going to live to see Dirge of Cerberus happen.

I drew half of Souba. "Incoming, brother."

Yazoo and Loz sprang up from their perch, hands already drawing out their guns and advancing.

Kadaj turned to look at me and jerked his head towards the approaching Cloud. Man, I hate to do this but I would.

I lunged. As expected, Cloud intercepted me and I landed nimbly on his bike, knowing that without being handled it was close to swerving off the road. I leaned in closer, close enough for our breath to touch the other's skin and sneered.

"Welcome home, Nii-san."

**xXx**


	14. Saddening

**To Be Human**

**XIV.**

* * *

Blue and green locked, neither wavering in the staring competition. Time seemed to slow before us but a loud and clear gunshot from my older brothers' Velvet Nightmares spurred the both of us into actions. I jumped back, ducking as bullets short past and as Cloud's sword cut an arc in the air.

I marveled as the bullets rained around us, cut in half by Cloud's precise strikes.

I jumped up as Cloud's bike went swerving insanely under me. Had Kadaj not stopped it with his foot, the children in the way, well, they'd be minced meat—and Cloud would feel guiltier than ever. I winced at the thought; as if current Cloud wasn't emo and angsty enough already.

"You see this man?" I looked down from where I was hanging on a branch, swaying slightly and I found this fun—in my past life, I could've never done such a thing and I enjoyed it, looking down from so high up... it somehow made me feel superior than the creatures upon this earth. Anyway, Kadaj was once again preaching, waving his hands and gesturing to a subdued—had to be Geostigma—Cloud. "He's our big brother, children, but in our happy little flock of white sheep, he would be..." Kadaj drew his sword. "...what you would call a black sheep."

"Tsk," Cloud sprang up abruptly and it elicited a round of bullets from Yazoo and Loz as a response. I winced at the loud sound but I didn't let it distract me.

Easily as if he were merely swatting flies out of the air, Cloud deflected the bullets and jumped. I lunged, striking but he deflected it and jumped away, onto another tree branch as I occupied the one he'd previously been on. I twisted quickly enough to deflect the oncoming blow but the branch creaked, signifying its breaking point.

I retreated as Loz punched the tree, dislodging it from the ground and sending us sprawling. Just as I thought I would be eating ancient dirt, I felt my arm wrenched back painfully. "Ow! Gentler, stupid!" I already knew who it was the moment the person pulled me back harshly in spite. Yazoo glared at me, grumbling as he reloaded his gun and shooting off another round of bullets.

I didn't how he could stand the sound. I preferred swords over guns because of the damn sounds, don't you think the sound of a sword slicing through the air beautiful music? As if singing a dirge to those in their paths? I didn't have time to ponder as Cloud's next attack sent my brother and I in different directions.

I brought my katana up just in time to delay his next strike but his sword liberated into two and his next blows came fast and hard. I angled my katana to catch both, wishing I had the other half of Souba and just where was Kadaj? That guy was going to get it once we're done here.

I felt, rather than saw, the third blade liberating and I brought my leg up to kick it away. I was surprised it flew away with no resistance but when Cloud pushed forward harder, I knew it was because he didn't really need it anyway. I was weaker, he didn't need that many blades against me; sheer strength would've done the trick.

Somehow, I felt insulted.

"What is it?" I stiffened, hearing Cloud's voice after so long—well, not really, but in my short life, a short time can be long—and I had to admit it was pleasant being able to hear his tenor, low, and husky voice after so much time (fine, I was being dramatic). "What do I have to do to bring you back?"

"Mother," I replied without hesitance and there was that quick as lightning flash of emotion in his eyes. This time, I was able to discern it: it was one of resignation and dread. And I knew why. I smiled, somewhat wistfully knowing our time to chat was up because my brothers were approaching after no sounds of battle. "You told Denzel yourself, I would never be coming back."

"I promised—"

"So you want me back because you promised him?" Disappointment, jealousy made my tongue taste sour. "Well, good riddance." I retreated, leaping a few feet back as Kadaj shot out from the trees and engaged Cloud in a battle of very dangerous blades.

Kadaj cheated; I saw when his eyes glowed and felt the pain. I hissed, I really wish Kadaj would teach us how to control the stigma's pain—like how he was inflicting pain on the afflicted victims.

Cloud fell, crumpling to the ground.

For a second, I felt worried before I told myself he didn't care about me so why should I care about him? I huffed, "Jerk."

"Who's jerk?" Loz's voice grumbled from behind me, and before I knew it, it turned into a sniffle. "Me? I'm sorry..."

"Don't cry, Loz."

"Yeah—Kadaj, get out of the way!"

Kadaj looked up at me in alarm, his blade inches from Cloud's neck and I realized my terrible mistake: distracting him. I lurched forward, trying for the second time in this life, to save my brother. I hauled him away as bullets rained down upon where he stood before. Kadaj's hand steadied us before we could tumble down and we turned, watching as a whirlwind of red swirled around Cloud before disappearing; Yazoo's and Loz's bullets ineffective.

Kadaj and I shared a stunned glance before, simultaneously, we pushed away from one another.

"Uh..." I scratched the back of my head, recalling Kadaj's warning to not save him. Maybe he would be too thankful to throttle me? Hah, fat chance of that happening. "No thank you?"

Kadaj grunted. "Damn," he cursed softly. "Nii-san got away."

"We'll get him next time," I promised.

"You don't sound like you're kidding."

"Because I'm not."

"What happened when we left you two along back there?" Following Kadaj's question was a probing of my mind but I managed to slam our connection shut. My older brother glared at me, opened his mouth to say something—probably a curse that would send me flying—but a familiar wail of despair resounding around us distracted him.

We shared another suspicious glance before we hurried to where we last heard Loz's voice.

I pushed through the bushes, picking leaves and twigs out of my hair and submerged myself in where Loz was. Yazoo and Kadaj stood on either side of the large lake, children fanning out on each side of them, not willing to get themselves wet unlike their idiot siblings (could hear their thoughts through our connection and I felt like punching them both for it).

"What's wrong?" I asked, pushing a stray kid in the lake away and towards the direction of the shore.

"She's gone, we lost her!" Loz sniffled heavily. "And I liked playing with her too."

"You mean _you_ lost her," Yazoo interjected sourly, cleaning his gun. "You were responsible, Loz, don't drag me into it."

"It doesn't matter, we don't need to lure Nii-san here now," Kadaj said and all of us glanced at him. He had reached the other side of the shore, where Yazoo was resting. Our lunatic brother bend down, picking up an orb from the chest Lox had taken from Cloud's residence, the church. "Well, shall we?"

I blinked in faint surprise and awe, I knew Kadaj was capable of absorbing materia from the movies but to see it in person was sorta cool. I tugged gently on Loz's arm and together, we climbed up the other shore. I flicked my wet hair from my eyes and crouched by the chest's side. I'd lost my previous materia after tumbles down into the Lifestream and I hadn't tried to absorb them before like Kadaj did.

I looked at Kadaj and he nodded.

I plucked out the first materia I saw, and after probing it, I realized it was lightning materia. I slid the sleeves of my leather coat higher, placing the cool orb onto my equally cold skin and when I pushed it downwards, I watched in awe as it sunk into my skin. "Awesome," I murmured, grinning like a child at Christmas opening his presents.

"Sister, I need you to bear another materai," Kadaj grabbed another orb and another, frowning as he continued doing so and found none of the materias he wanted. "Where is it?" he muttered moodily as he started flinging materia carelessly everywhere. "Aha!" Kadaj rose to his full height gracefully, clutching a glowing blue orb, he handed it to me with a malicious smile.

Suspiciously, I took it and examined it. I nearly gasped when I discovered its property. "Why?"

"We have to distract persistent pests don't we?" Kadaj smirked but it dimmed slightly as he continued in a softer voice. "Besides, you'd be safer with it." The _because you're weaker than us and we don't trust you not to get hurt badly_ went unsaid but I felt insulted nevertheless. I appreciated their concern and I shared them myself for being so damn weak but I couldn't help it.

How was it my fault, whatever part I represented of Sephiroth, was so weak?

And that was another surprising thing, if I was this weak, that meant this part of Sephiroth was weak. I wondered what I embodied of him—his weakness? But even that seemed surreal, the thought of our Eldest Brother, Sephiroth ever having a weakness and I'm the living proof.

Twisting around, I pushed the orb into my other arm.

"Let's go," Kadaj turned towards our silent audience and smirked, crazily attractive and darkly charismatic. "We have to go to Reunion."

I stared at Kadaj, then at Loz and Yazoo, feeling the irrational urge to wrap them into a hug. I swallowed thickly, knowing why such a pool of dread resided in my stomach and chest and heart and mind and soul; we wouldn't live to see the next sunset, the moonlight and the sunrise, we'd miss it all because by then we'd be gone.

It was a saddening thought and I thought I felt my eyes burn.

Today was a very saddening day, the meeting with Cloud was the start. Even now, as I closed my eyes, as I breathed in the scent of the forest and air, I could still see and feel and smell Cloud. I could still recall how blue_likethenightsky_blue eyes narrowed with faintest of efforts; could feel warmth as we traded our breaths; could smell the scent of flowers similar to those in the church; could feel his determination and overbearing sadness and guilt like a cloak shrouding him, making his presence stifling, choking.

Such is the power of the most powerful warrior on Gaia, I see.

_But being powerful, doesn't mean you can save your loves ones does it?_

That's saddening. If so, what's power for then?

_Nothing but sadness, the price and the reward._

I suppose you know best.

**XIV—END.**

* * *

**AN**

**Could anyone feel the slight Cloud/Katja in this chapter? I tried my best to add in some but Cloud's too hard to write in expressing feelings. **

**Anyways, this story's coming to an end - feel sorta sad, dunno about you guys though. **

**I wonder if I should create multiple endings since I had so many ideas for it pile up in my head; what do you say, happy or sad or bittersweet?**


	15. Choosing

**To Be Human**

**XV.**

* * *

_I knew this was coming the moment I realized where exactly and who I had reborn as. I saw it coming, gliding slowly from afar and every time, seeing it so slow I thought perhaps I had more time. But I had none._

_Dying, dead, death._

_It was inevitable, so why—_

The chains gnashed against one another, scraping the solid concrete and linking, grappling and staying on. I pulled harsher on the chain I'm holding onto a few times to make sure it wouldn't come undone. I nodded at Yazoo and Loz, who nodded back before their attention turn, unmistakably to a pair of Turks.

I knew them, Rude and Reno.

It was beginning and for a moment, fear gripped me.

My grip on the chain, in turn, laxed but hearing the insults and yells from the people of Midgar, my hate and rage overpowered my fear. I snarled slightly, turning to glare at them; half of them quiet but the other half, those hiding behind others, cowards sneered back.

"Tsk," I glanced briefly at Denzel, noting that he was still okay and returned to my task of securing the chains until someone threw something at me. Easily, I leaned back slightly and the egg shell cracked against the concrete and fell down onto the floor, oozing gooey yellows. I stared at the crowd, waiting with baited breath like I'm a stun woman doing something particularly dangerous and I nearly smirk at the thought. "What a waste."

The crowd roared and more rubbish rained down on us. My brothers and I avoided it all but the captive children were in the middle of the onslaught too, and the people didn't bother about them.

Clearly, they just wanted to make things difficult for us, not doing this for their care of the children.

I raised my hand and from our—the gathered people's—shadows emerged the Shadow Creepers, roaring in the face and clawing them off the next second. A maniac, hysterical giggle drew itself out of my mouth as people fell dead left and right. The fire materia in my left arm glowed, and when I snapped my fingers, flames erupted, burning and searing everything in its path.

Hysterical, bubbly laughter.

From the the orange flames, red and black, a wild stray wind lunged at me; Reno's nightstick met Yazoo's Velvet Nightmare.

"I would appreciate it," Yazoo was saying even as the flames licked his leather armor, as the flames roared. "if you don't touch her. Your Turk friends did enough damage on her. I'd hate if you continue their legacy."

Reno snarled, and from the corner of my eye, I saw Loz and Rude engaged one another in a fight for dominance in strength; of course my older brother would win. I'm sure of it.

I glanced around, almost apathetic, heart nearly void of the emotions I wanted to scream out to the world, the world seem to be swaying before me: Fire, Pain, Blood, Death—

Ah, this scene was familiar because I had seen it before, through Sephiroth's memories. But one thing was lacking, no one was drawing a sword, and slicing humans apart. Should I...?

Souba's reach was not as great as Masamune's but it'll do. I had decided to kill the first human I saw until I spotted Denzel. I stiffened, his name striking a cord in me and just then, I saw how flames were nearly caressing his soft child skin. Just as I reached forward, someone burst through the flames and wrenched him away into her protective embrace.

Wine eyes glared up at me.

"I thought you were different!" Tifa Lockhart screamed at me through the ashes, smoke and fire. "I knew you were related with Sephiroth, somehow when Cloud spoke of you like that, but after the time we spent together—I believed you'd never do such a thing! WHY?!"

"Because I had no wish to die. Simple as that," My eyes softened for a moment, as I raised my sword. "I had nothing personal against you, Tifa, I wished you had a nice life."

My sword would've cut her head clean off has it not been for the round of bullets. I glanced up to see a cursing, yelling man, a metal gunarm attached to his right hand; his build larger and more intimidating than Loz's. I pulled back, jumping away from the flames as I grabbed a shuriken from the air and hurled it into the flames, ignoring the indignant yells.

A whirlwind of a darker shade than Reno came at me, golden claws glinting and reflecting the flames. I swung my sword, cutting off some of Vincent's tattered cloak, passing him just as a man jumped into the air and landing on me with his spear aimed at my face. I whirled around to kick a red animal in the face, sending it sprawling into the flames. A loud _meorw!_ reminded me of Cat!Cloud but I had set her off somewhere far from Midgar—and besides, Cloud's meow was not like this, like a sonic wave.

I had other things to do than to entertain AVALANCHE.

I raised my hand, watching in slight awe as my whole arm glow blue, cold flames licking my skin as if testing the waters before from my palm, a creature emerged. I'd seen the summons from the game before and this Bahamut SIN took the cake to be the most monstrous; a twisted, demonic version of Bahamut, its eyes sunken, red, and bug-like, its skull featuring a series of ram-like horns, and its wings supported by a series of insectoid wings.

I knew I'd hate to be in its path. I pointed at the group of gawking warriors, "Crush them and bring the city down with you!" Bahamut SIN roared, nearly shattering my earbuds, in my face before with some grudging ministrations, he lunged, landed in my flames and spat out blue flame balls more destructive than what my Fire materia pulled.

I was only mildly surprise when I noticed I felt no tiredness.

Kadaj had told me earlier, as we rode into Midgar, that he'd chosen me to bear so many materias was because my magic capabilities were stronger than my brothers. It sounded like a praise despite his tone and I should happy but—

_—why did I feel such dread and surprise?_

The moment Cloud engaged us in battle, I knew our time was almost up. I tried to keep my emotions in check and set my eyes on our goal: Mother and the revival of Sephiroth. (I didn't know why I craved the latter's revival more than the former and I hoped no one picked up on that.)

The moment I saw the two splitting roads, one up and one down, I felt as if I was as torn as the path itself.

If I followed Kadaj, there might be a chance I could save him.

If I followed Yazoo and Loz, there may be more chances to save them.

But following the latter meant fighting Cloud.

What do I do, now? I panicked, hands gripping Kadaj's shoulders tighter. My brother mistook it as excitement for Mother's return and he smiled. "It's okay, sister, we'll be together again after this." _In more ways than one_, went unsaid by him but I understood him well.

"Yeah," I said, jaw tightening.

What should I do?

_Close your eyes, and what do you see? Isn't it the person who mattered the most? The one closest to your heart?_

I closed my eyes, expecting nothing but darkness. Much to my surprise, a face with long lashes, cheeks still possessing baby fat, eyes bright and luminous and pretty, hair unique and unseen in most, clothed in dark leather, powerful in a lithe body, such sadness as that supposed closest person to my heart laments...

I laughed, slightly hysterical as, to my right, my Bahamut fell and a part of the city bequeathed by my flames crumbled along with him. "Ah, I see," I murmured.

"I could see that person so clearly now."

**XV—END.**

* * *

**AN**

**Who is that precious person? Person who guesses right will... get a oneshot (as long as its a fandom I know of) dedicated to them? **


	16. Ending

**To Be Human**

**XVI**

* * *

It hurts, terribly so.

But it was to be expected, this wasn't some mere scrap or a large wound like when Elena's bullets embedded themselves in me. This wasn't physical pain. Not only was my body experiencing the pain, but my soul and mind too.

Merging; combine or cause to combine to form a single entity; blend or fade gradually into something else so as to become indistinguishable from it.

I hate both explanations. Try imagining jumping into a boiling pit and multiplying the pain by ten times, I don't think you'd still get it.

When we first merged, I saw Kadaj before his face, already contorted in pain, faded into black mist.

Ah—

Crying, someone was crying. Kadaj, is that you?

I blinked, realizing that no, it wasn't him. Then again, would he cry over mere pain? When, after merging Reunion will come and isn't that his wish? To see Mother again—

Mother. Mom. Red hair that seemed to have dull greatly, grey strands visible under the artificial light, as it was pulled into a messy bun. Her blue eyes were empty, dull and faded, rimmed red as if she'd been crying non-stop. She was sitting on a chair, hunched over and sniffling.

At first I couldn't see what she was crying over then, slowly, the mist lifted slightly and I saw a hospital bed; white sheets, white everything which was sickening. A pale girl laid there, asleep, an oxygen mask over her ashen face; at least she was still alive, the machines beeping indicated so.

So why was the woman crying?

I glanced at the board, a name and the patient's condition scrawled on the white paper; coma, might never wake again. No wonder. I didn't hesitate as I stepped forward, a few more steps and reached out towards her. Neither female looked up though Mother shuddered once, glancing around briefly before she turned her attention back to her own daughter.

Me. But I don't have auburn hair and blue eyes now.

My grip on her shoulder relaxed as the woman slowly slipped away. There were so many things I wanted to say_Iwannagogome_Don'tgo_Mother_but nothing came and she was gone. I glanced at the immobile girl on the white bed and wondered what I should do.

"Do you want to go back?" I didn't turn to face the voice, merely approaching the girl's body, me, Earthen me. "I can make that happen you know."

The voice was as soothing and melodious as ever but this time, it wasn't sneaky nor was it one plotting something; it was a genuine question, earnest and truly meaning my well-being.

"You truly can?" I asked, wondering what I had to pay to be in the body again. I didn't even know I wanted to go back to Earth, after killing people here—what about my brothers—do I even exist in Gaia anymore—is this a dream—what's my purpose, can someone tell me?

"Yes," Arms wrapped around me as silver hair curtained us. Mother's embrace, something Kadaj had always wanted to feel. "What is your decision?"

"I..."

* * *

**ED 1—Returning (Brothers)**

"I... want to go home."

I finally turned, within the taller woman's embrace. Her green eyes were sad as she regarded me, before she smiled, however painfully. "Very well, then."

This woman, creature and alien, was Jenova, Mother. If I hadn't grew accustomed to her talking in my head, I would've never though her capable of such humane feelings. For all she was, she wasn't cruel but what was she really, what was her goals? First she wanted us to reunite then she gave me the choice to leave, to chose where I want to be.

_But, eh, too late for second thoughts now, right?_

The voice that had been present in my head for so long didn't answer.

The next time I woke was to gaze into Mother's eyes. Not Jenova but my own mother, red hair and blue eyes. She cried when she saw me, the color and sparkle finally returning to her eyes and her smile and laughter were contagious.

I smiled, sweetness tinged with bitterness. My brothers didn't make it, they'll never be here. Tears slid down my face but mother mistook it as tears of joy; at least, in this world, I have my own mother.

What about Jenova?

Forget her and that world and the people in there, I told myself, chidingly as I was carried out of the van and placed on the wheelchair; I didn't like being immobile but I was having a hard time moving my arms and legs. "Mom?" I called, blinking at the unknown car parked in front of our house. "Who're they?"

"Oh, your cousins by marriage."

"Who married who?" I asked, baffled, trying to wheel myself forward but failing as I couldn't dredge up the strength to do so.

"Your Aunt Scarlett married some guy, he already had kids you see, so you had additional cousins. Two of them are older than you but one of them is the same age; all boys though—and they're staying with us this summer because Scarlett and her new husband had gone to their honeymoon and their dad didn't trust them alone in the house—Ah, where're you going?" I heard mom dump whatever she was holding and rushed towards me.

I didn't stop, I had to see the boys. Are they...?

The largest of the boys jogged forward to greet us, a grin on his face. His green eyes, twinkled when he saw me. "Hey there, My name's Loz—"

I would've hugged him if I could, but tears slid down my face as I noticed something.

"Holy shit," Loz-not-Loz, jerked back in shock. "I made her cry!"

Another boy with his long hair pulled into a high ponytail approached us, followed by a much smaller boy; Yazoo and Kadaj yet at the same time wasn't.

These boys, while they shared the same name as my brothers, they didn't have silver hair and slitted eyes.

These look-alikes had their faces, but the hair were brown and the eyes were purely green, like the sea instead of artificial Mako.

"I apologize for my idiotic brothers' antics," Yazoo said politely, elbowing Loz who yelped and muttered his apology.

I laughed, bitter indistinguishable from joy. "It's okay."

They may not be my brothers but I know someday, our bond here would be as strong as it was, as it should be, in Gaia.

* * *

**ED 2—Please Be Happy (Cloud)**

"I... I don't know," I murmured, lost; if I stayed here, in Gaia, in Jenova's embrace, what about my original mother?

_She'd be okay_, the annoyingly persistent voice said in my head. _She had other family members, remember? Your brothers had none_.

As annoying as it was, the voice was right. "Stay, I want to be with my brothers, even if only for a few more moments..."

"Then so be it," Jenova smiled, somewhat sadly. "The Reunion failed, sweetheart but perhaps, you might have another chance." She waved her hand and when I glanced back at the figure of a girl on the hospital bed, the girl's chest had stopped rising and falling. The machines let out a long, sharp piercing sound, signifying her death.

I could see the doctors and nurses charging down the hallway towards where the girl laid but I knew they were too late. I glanced back at Mother, at Jenova to see her fading along with the hospital.

What have I done?

What if Jenova was lying all along and now... all that's left for me was...

Nothing.

I nearly screamed; not from the thought but from the pain as well. The blackness faded as pain blossomed, as my vision gave way to a clear setting sky and strangely, there was rain despite the lack of storm clouds in the sky.

_Cloud._

I felt myself falling, the wind whistling in my ears; I glanced right to see Kadaj's listless body falling alongside mine. I thought there were tears in his eyes but I couldn't be sure because my eyes themselves were blurry and I couldn't make out anything in the rain, which by the way was eating away at my body.

My body hit the ground, concrete building of the remains of Shinra and damn did it hurt. I whimpered, turning on my side—biting my lip to staunch the pained cry because my ribs were broken—to see Kadaj. My brother was gasping for air, abruptly, he jerked his head to face me, reaching out a hand, a silent plea to try again.

To be Sephiroth again.

No; I shook my head, approaching him, crawling and touching his fingertips to mine. Comfort of touch, but the contact wasn't enough to merge again and I smiled, laughing, "It's over, Kadaj, it's all over."

My brother's eyes glazed over. "See... Mother...?"

"Yeah." And he smiled and I thought the lie was worth it as he dissolved beneath my fingers, his wounds worse than mine. "I love you, I love you so much you never knew." The last part wasn't entirely a lie, perhaps Kadaj had known and there was no hate in his eyes even as I protest Reunion.

I'd be following him anyway, the rain was relentless and I could feel it purging my Jenova cells; just a little longer, Kadaj—

Someone shielded the rain from my frail and broken form; blinking dazedly, I looked up and was greeted with blue eyes, his blonde hair clung to his skin due to the wetness. We stood (well, I was laying down, injured and unable to move) at a standstill before he crouched, his large blade acting as a makeshift umbrella.

"You shouldn't be here," I said, the kids, their Geostigma needed him to be cured, right?

"You shouldn't be here either," Cloud retorted. His hand suddenly latched onto my arm, which started to dissolute. "I promised you that I'd warn you next time when we ride Fenrir, remember?"

Oh, so that's what he'd been trying to say at the Forgotten Capital. In his eyes, thoughts flashed past his mind, all unable to be spoken by him. I wanted to tell him a lot of things too but I hadn't the energy; the admiration I held for him and the momentary grudge for Sephiroth's fall.

I laughed, "I don't care anymore about that, but please, just be happy."

And everything dissolved.

* * *

**ED 3—Ashen (Jenova)**

"I... want to stay with you, Mother."

Jenova's eyes widened in genuine surprise. "Really?" The sheer hope and honesty stunned me but I nodded.

"Yes, if this Planet proves too much to be challenge, why don't we move on to another one?"

Jenova rest her head on mine, her laughter of joy bubbly. "Yes," she said. "Let's."

"Where?"

"Earth."

And on a planet, green and blue and white swirled into an ashen color.

* * *

**ED 4—Dissolution (Sephiroth)**

"I want to rest in peace, in Gaia," I smiled sadly, mirroring Jenova. "May I?"

"Twins; without one, the other lack," Jenova caressed my cheek, I knew it'd be the last time I ever _see_feel_hear_ her and my heart grew heavy at the thought. "Go to him, send him my regards, why don't you? He's been waiting for a long time."

The hospital, whatever happened after the girl's heart stopped, faded along with Jenova's presence. For a moment, there was nothing, void and empty before everything exploded into a cacophony of sounds, a thousand voice merging into one and the world was colored into strings and strands and slivers of green and blue.

Twirling, twisting and dancing and judging.

_"Alien,"_ the inhuman voice of the Lifestream murmured. "_Not belonging, not here._"

I couldn't help the sarcastic sneer. "You think you'e very normal?"

Cetras, one by one, gained forms and surrounded me. _"Calamity's child!"_ one screamed in their raspy voice, hands reaching out as if to claw me to pieces.

I opened my mouth to retort but one Cetra stood out, clearly different from the rest. She approached me, her eyes the same shade as the Lifestream glistening with compassion as she held out her hand. _"Will you come?"_ she asked kindly, her voice unearthly and perpetual. _"He's been waiting for far too long—"_

_"Cetra Child,"_ another Cetra screamed. _"Do not associate with Calamity's child!"_

_"Banish her!"_

The kind Cetra ignored them, taking my hand and gently guiding me far away from her brethren. The scenery around us, the Promised Land of the Cetras blended into one and a blur, I couldn't make anything out of it and for what seemed to be heaven in this world, seemed hostile, unwelcoming.

I knew instantly I wasn't meant for the Promised Land.

More like, the Banished Land. I giggled hysterically at the thought as the green and multitude of bright colors faded into gray and mists. The kind Cetra pointed to a direction before us, I looked down and noticed that she was the only color—pink, brown and green—in this scenery of gray. She smiled at me, her ethereally beautiful face perpetually kind and I can see why Kadaj would mistake her as Mother.

"Where're my brothers?"

Her face crumpled into one of sorrow, and she looked at me with sympathy. "Ah, I see," I murmured as my hand slipped from hers, my feet automatically carrying me forward. "So they are admitted into the Promised Land while I am banished." I didn't bother looking at the Cetra. "Am I right?"

_"I'm sorry,"_ her wispy voice echoed from behind me and she sounded genuine for her failure. _"I tried. I really did."_

"I believe you, I know."

I walked and walked, not having a particular destination in my mind. In the Banished Lands, I met a blonde haired and grey eyed fat lard—President Shinra, father of Rufus Shinra—who kept murmuring deliriously about Promised Land this and that. I chortled at his pathetic state, knowing that within these cruel lands, I was above them all, except perhaps, _him_.

I grinned at the silver haired man before me; he'd somehow materialized before me and we were looking at one another without anything to say. "Hello, Aniki."

Silence reigned as we fell into step by the other's side, walking with no destination in mind and knowing nothing awaits us here and we had all the time in the world to talk about everything and nothing at all.

"If you'd been in the Promised Lands, what would you have wished for?"

"I already had it," My hand slipped into his and he didn't pull back; the cold lands blended to give way to snow and a sliver of moonlight.

"Which is?"

"You know our greatest wish was to be human."

"Did you achieve it?"

I blinked, then I remembered what I'd felt along those years as I was in Gaia. Hurting, hating, loving, deceiving, fighting, being selfish and being selfless—traits of a human. So I grin and say, "Yeah!"

**xXx**

* * *

**AN**

Oh crappy endings I know, but still, which ending is your favorite? Jenova's one is extra, and a failed attempt at horror but I guess I didn't achieve it. Should this be the end? Or should I add in thoughts of canon characters of Katja?

Review!


	17. Epilogue

**To Be Human**

**XVII**

* * *

**Fey (Rayleigh)**

When they first met, Rayleigh's first thought of the girl was fey.

_Fey_; some creature giving an impression of vague unworldliness.

And she was; there weren't many people named Katja in this world of theirs, Katja's name was uncommon and odd—so was Sephiroth's, so was Kadaj, Loz and Yazoo—unacceptable. Perhaps it had been her name that had given her such a fey impression but when she saw the young girl shot past her like a breeze, somehow managing to run far faster than a child could, maybe she already knew something was wrong about her.

The girl smiled, a few times, pleasantry and all politeness; hollow, as if she smiled just for the sake of smiling—again, another aspect of hers that represented Sephiroth, Katja bore an uncanny resemblance to him and the way they act... ugh.

That was the reason why Rayleigh was so curious about her, her hypothesis that Katja was a Sephiroth clone—she'd created—was mind boggling and it added to her guilt, for condemning innocent citizens—well, some of them were criminals and some were petty thieves—to be someone else entirely, all their good and bad stripped away to be replaces by someone else. And when that failed, they lost their memories and merely became puppets who bore another's face and Hojo usually disposed of these sorts.

It was a miracle this child escaped; Rayleigh swore she'd help the girl, her creation, as much as possible.

That was a promise she made to herself when she only had a theory as to who Katja was.

How could Rayleigh ever know that she was a part of Sephiroth herself—though why she referred to him as big brother disturbed her and she couldn't understand—intent on destroying the world in his place?

_Fey_; it suited Sephiroth as well, a man who'd always been unworldly and out of the ordinary.

She had some connections to Reeve so she'd been able to scrape some information as to who and what Katja was.

A Remnant of Sephiroth; she wondered what Katja represented.

_Fey_; perhaps she represented Sephiroth's unworldliness, how he was a misfit even amongst his odder peers. It certainly would explain why she was the only female among her brothers.

* * *

**Failure (Vincent Valentine)**

Vincent had mixed feelings for the Remnants of Sephiroth, firstly, they told of Sephiroth's tales and of Vincent's failure to save the real man himself - just look at how he turned out.

No words could describe his regret.

But that girl, Katja's face struck a chord. She was the one who resembled Lucrecia the most - and it made him wonder why she was the only female and bore such striking resemblance to Sephiroth's mother instead of the man himself. She was different too, unlike her brothers who preached about Reunion and their obsession to Mother - he had been observing, ready to intervene if Cloud was in trouble when they were in the City of the Ancients - she was silent and merely nodded, as if playing a long suffering game of pretend.

It made Vincent doubt Katja's claim as a Sephiroth Remnant; but when he saw how she and her other brother, Kadaj, merged into one to form Sephiroth - and he saw clearly of the memories they both held, their own and Sephiroth's - he cast the doubt away and accept the fact that she was just another part of Sephiroth, in the end, the one he'd failed had only been Sephiroth and Lucrecia herself.

No one else.

Katja was just a remnant - a piece of something, a former shadow of a creature, one who is incomplete with other pieces or remnants - of a man they'd all failed to save.

And perhaps that was what she represented; their failure and regrets, and perhaps, somehow, Sephiroth had known of how they'd failed him and she was the result?

Was Katja made in Lucrecia's image? Of how Sephiroth had thought his mother had failed him?

* * *

**Trust (Denzel)**

When Cloud returned safely, grim and sad yet seeming to have a huge weight off his shoulders and finally making the effort to be happier, Denzel didn't know whether he should laugh or cry.

Because one person didn't made it back.

What a difference it made.

Personally, despite the fact she'd abused his trust and tricked him, he didn't hate her nor did he blame her for it. He was just sad she didn't trust him as much as he did her. If Katja had just told him that she needed him for her plan to succeed - and even when he'd joined by trickery and force, her side still lost - he would've followed her.

He didn't think what Cloud would do if he went willingly though - maybe, the young boy had thought, the man will join them.

Denzel didn't know, didn't ask because he didn't think he needed too when he trusted Katja that much.

Trusted; he hated - hates, hating and still hate - the past tense because it meant he didn't trust her anymore. But that wasn't the reason, trusted; because she was gone. And he was scared that'd forget her.

So he chose to hate her, as he hated Sephiroth for nearly killing Cloud, as he hated Shinra for taking away his parents. If he could convince himself that he didn't - would never - forgive her for betraying his trust, then he wouldn't forget her.

To forgive is to forget; he didn't want to forget her so he'd never forgive her.

When Cloud asked him of what he thought of Katja now, he said, "I _hate_ her" -for leaving without even saying goodbye and why didn't she say anything?- "and I'd never forget what she did."

—_I'd never forget she saved my life_.

* * *

**Wraith (Cloud)**

Katja, after Geostigma, was instantly like Zack and Aerith to Cloud; a wraith, a specter - a ghost he was unable to let go. At first anyway, he'd think - brood - about what he could've done and blaming everything on himself because something bad that happened to that person he cared about just seemed to lead right back to him.

If only he'd been more observant - he could've talked her out of it, she was different from the rest, she might've listened to him.

They say you never realize how much you treasure something until you lost them.

Cloud, blame his bad memory, tried to remember the moments he'd spend with Katja - sparring, arguing, fighting - and he could recall a few times, a few events where she smiled, brooded, and raged over.

The memory most he didn't want to relieve was of her - to put it nicely - dissolution into the Lifestream. Every time he went to Aerith's church, he'd gazed into the water, the lake which was the remnants - like Katja was - of the rain that purged him of the curse of Geostigma.

He wondered did Katja find her Promised Land. He hoped she did, wished she did. Aerith would've made sure she could've. The moment the last thought crossed his mind, the lake rippled, and for a moment, he saw Aerith's sorrow-filled face.

_"Couldn't you just be happy, Cloud, instead of pondering on things you can't change?"_

_"I don't care anymore,"_ her - not Aerith's - voice resounded in his head, and he could remember her crooked, bitter smile. "_But please, just be happy_."

And in her eyes, he saw the words she couldn't speak, _we'll see one another again_.

* * *

**Peace At Last (Nanaki/Red XIII)**

He was an intelligent creature, he knew and saw things most humans could not. He was perceptive, he was old, he was wise, he was dull of memories. But despite his great qualities, he couldn't alter one thing: _Cloud_.

Five hundred years later, here they were, it was pushing the edge of Nanaki's lifespan but the red beast swore, until Cloud was at peace, he wouldn't rest in peace as well. He'd asked, pleaded, begged - on very bad days where he reminiscence on the old days and the man's unwillingness to be with his friends in the Lifestream - as to why Cloud was like this.

The answer had been spoken so long ago, so tired and soft and weary, that Nanaki thought he must've misheard; "I'm waiting for someone."

Was it his friends and acquaintances from old? They had met them; Nanaki recalled people who smelt, acted, looked like their dead friends.

Reno, Rude, Rufus, Tseng, Elena, Barrett, Marlene, Denzel, Tifa, Shelke, Vincent (even he had succumbed to the Lifestream's pull, yet Cloud hadn't? Unbelievable) and many more amongst others. Nanaki noticed that Cloud's biggest regrets, Zack and Aerith had never been reincarnated before and he assumed that it was them he was waiting.

When he'd guessed, Cloud had merely shook his head with an amused smile and continued cleaning, polishing, Fenrir.

The care he showed his bike was ridiculous, what did he want the bike for anyway when he barely - if at all - left the church? Cloud, along the years, had stopped aging and needing any human necessities that made Nanaki wonder what he is now but he didn't dare doubt Cloud's humanity - he merely assumed Hojo's experimentation had left the man with many cells and organs frozen.

Again, now, bone-weary and so old that Nanaki knew he couldn't possibly remain on Gaia's eathern plane anymore, he walked to where Aerith's church still stood, tall and proud amongst the ruins of Midgar and Edge.

The double, gigantic and frozen - in time, along with Cloud - doors were always opened so Nanaki didn't need to waste his energy to push it open.

"Cloud," he said, and as always, the blonde man didn't turn. "How long are you going to be staying here?" No answer, and Nanaki approached where the blonde man was laying down, eyes closed as if asleep. His soft features belied the hardened heart and soul.

"Cloud," he called again, more forcefully this time and wondered what happened. He glanced around with narrowed eyes, "What happened here?" Again, the blonde didn't answer and Nanaki, frustrated started sniffing around for clues. He stopped when he came across a paper, a calender to be exact, dated about four hundred and some years ago.

The red beats wrinkled his nose at the foul smell and was about push it away when he spotted the circular mark on it in bright, red marker. It was just a date, with not a note as to why it was important. Nanaki sighed, glancing around and was about to leave Cloud to his own devices when he noticed one thing - Fenrir was missing - and it set many alarm bells in his head.

"Cloud!" the beast snarled, darting to his friend and shaking him with his paws. "Have you been attacked?! Cloud, answer me!"

Deliriously, softly, the answer drifted to Nanaki's ears, "She came and took it."

"Who?"

The blonde man didn't answer and when Nanaki stopped shaking his old friend, he noticed that Cloud's lips had curled up into a small, contented smile and that his heartbeat, his pulse was already slowing to a stop.

Nanaki smiled, albeit wistfully and sadly, "Did you finally see the person you waited for all these years?"

The smile seemed to grow and Nanaki took it as an affirmative, as he crossed the threshold and out of the church, he thought he heard a very, very soft and faint voice, murmuring.

Faint, fey and soft, the whisper was.

"It's been a while, _Cloud_."

**End**

* * *

**AN**

**The end, for real now, so tell me what you think?**

**P.S: If anyone's interested, I also have another SI story, also FF7, go check it out if you will!**


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